c'est la vie

friday night. No appointment. No date. it is always a test of popularity whenever you are free and yet do not wish to stay home for this special night of the week.

Lay down on the bed, thinking who should i call and what should i do. No one. Nothing in mind. Realizing my mind will be overtaken by the lonesome sadness, decided to embrace it, feel it, and write it. it's unsurprisingly hard to go through the night. My mind non stop staring at the cellphone, hoping it will just rang and connects me to anybody,literally anybody. The highlight of the night was actually the Beep sound indicating a text message is received. The excitement was brought down to the deep valley when the sender was non other than Digi call center.

So screw my friends, why do it need one when i have internet access, i told myself. 20minutes later, dead bored with all the no-so-update blog. Wanted to read all the news but what the heck, nothing major is happening (well, major enough to attract my attention) and business news is still arguing whether it would be a good or bad year ahead.

So screw the webpage, i have virtue friends...frenster - no update from anyone. Perhaps everone is too busy updating facebook. MSN- 0 people online. WTF?! am i like the only ghost in the town that have no place to hang out?

fine...fine....i will just sleep through the night with Chet Baker's saxophone. tick...tick...tick...time flies....tick....tick...tick.....i cant sleep~~tick...tick...tick....how can nobody call me?? tick....tick...tick.....zzzZZZZZ

this morning when i woke up, i actually sit down and have a deep thought on the feeling that i experience last night. It was quite horrible, and this lonesome feeling really can drive people crazy.Then i start to relate on how often us, as human being afraid to be alone, with all the activities that we always anticipate to do on weekend; partying, mamaking, pat-toh-ing, movie watching, driving, flirting, gambling or even working. But by thinking this issue in the reverse way, would us feel lonely if friday night is not meant to be doing all those group activities? i think not

So, was i really pathetic that i have no place to go on friday night? i guess not, but somehow, sometime, admit it or not, we (okey, i shall use the word me) just enjoy being the hero of some tragedy drama. Just try n recall back how often you imagine yourself as the most lonely person in the world in which you really need to go to pub and sit on the bar counter and drink glass and glass of vodka? We are all influenced by things that we watch and listen to, and i actually can see the difference by comparing this group of friends that watch every single movie with a few guys that hardly touched the TV or even step into the cinema. It's pretty crazy come to know of it.....