Aimlessly living in my current home for more than a month. Have no idea how did i survive the boredom for the past 30 days. But what's more than that, the uncentainty that is surrouding me is really killing me. I can only wait for the layer n layer of red tape to process all my applications. Although i am young, but this is definitely a time wasting procedure. Dear spider, please have mercy on my n stop netting your spider web around me.....
This morning I read an article that is definitely my article of the year. Micheal Backman wrote an interesting critique on Malaysia current situation - While Malaysia fiddles, its opportunities are running dry. things that he mentioned are nothing new to me, but what interested me is the responses received after the article was released. A Malaysian forum that i always read through responded quickly to the article by predicting our top leaders would turn a deaf ear while some ministers will represent the government stating foreigner wil never understand Malaysia situation.
Less than 48 hours, our iron fist lady cum AP Queen responded exactly as what the forum predicted. I congrats my fellow Malaysian's wisdom, and regret for the immaturity of our country leaders. Rafidah is no doubt one of the politician that i adore, but what i admire is her dedication and wisdom, but not her protective behaviour over the country. I dare not said that if she is guilty for all the accusation on various issue, but she is definitely behaving like a mother protecting her criminal son from getting into jail (even though the son have no intention on turning into a new leaf). Nevertheless, it would be hard to determine whether it was her love for the country or the love for her status that make her doing all this.
i used to label American as ignorant as they barely understand anything beyond their massive land. But as i grow older, and have a better perspective on my beloved country, i am ashamed of myself for pointing a finger on people without realising the other 4 fingers were pointing back at me. What i've seen and what i know about the world is incredibly limited and insignificant. i'm glad that i realised it and therefore i can humbly accept critique or even criticism. American might be insane for supporting the war, but they are one of the rare species that enjoy self-criticism over their own people. Self-criticism is a privilage that i believe can be only enjoyed by a society will a high maturity. They will listen to constructive critism and they will jsut laugh at it when its not in sync with their 'core value'.
i wish one day the ministers will try and discuss and understand an article before they label them as outsider that will not understand our issue well. And i wish one day those words can come from a Malaysian instead of an Australian and yet can be discuss openly without a possible ISA waiting for him/her. i wish my love for the country will not be a pain that can never cure.
If only they understand the word 'waste' from the article......
Political Correctness
About a year ago, i was introduced to the concept of 'political correctness', according to oxford dictionary, it is define as the "careful avoidance of forms of expression or action that are perceived to exclude or insult groups of people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against". A good example would be calling the African American the N word. Or maybe, labeling a person as 'sweet and sour pork' when you were shown a picture of Asian guy. Or even, greeting every single Asian-looking students Konichiwa.
If you are lucky enough to live in a country that the majority of the population has a different skin colour compare to you, then you would know these things are really happening, and yes, i was greeted with Konichiwa god knows how many times.
Political correctness has been a popular topic for the past 2 years. One of the election candidate even use it in his proposed policy. I am not too sure if he was elected, but certainly it is a topic that worth looking into, especially with the fact that i am always at the socially disadvantage side, regardless where i would be living (although someone argued with me that singapore is the only dreamland for us, the yellow-skin group).
Political correctness arises as an issue in NZ due to the mass immigrants that calling this 4-million-population country as their home. Currently there is as much as ~15% of the population are not from the initial European and Maori descendents. 15% is a significant amount of people that can topple a government, and definitely the ruling party will not let it happen. However, being concern about the political correctness is totally different with applying it. A politician that implemented an immigration policy that prohibit Chinese from gaining citizenship, can changed his mind and calling himself a 1/4 Chinese prior the the election. Amazingly he was elected and currently is the Minister of foreign affair. This is definitely politically incorrect. But as the people still greeting me with Konichiwa, i strongly doubt that anyone would give it a damn...
bringing back the spotlight to malaysia, We, the malaysian chinese are not very far off either. Calling the dedicated Indian 'keling' or the Malay 'tee-go' are equally political incorrect. But it was never an issue, because our countryman never think that it is wrong. It never concern the government, because we are living peacefully. As long nothing like13th of May occur, it is fine to discriminate one another. As long as no mainstream media report about racial issues, we will forever be the harmonic society that is 'Truely Asia'
As a multiracial country, it is amazing that how many of us did not understand the culture of other ethnicity group. I was labelled as nuts and radical when i tried to understand Islam teaching. Thank god nobody call me a terrorist when i try to look for a simple translation of Al-Quran. I never like people judging the others base on the category that they belong to. i was in true agony when i heard a comment from a 60-year old Canadian lady that US-affiliated countries should just banned any muslim entering their country. However, a true scar in my mind was caused by comment from a good number of dedicated Christian friend of my. As they were telling me about forgiveness of god, they were happily shouting hooray as the Israeli annihiliating the state of Palestine.Instead of forgiveness, they told me that Israel deserved to give revenge on the betrayer of Palestinian over few incidents. I regret for the shallow understanding of bible of them, and certainly they never do well in their history either. As they idolising the Jews, they were so blinded that he did know that Judaism never acknowledge the existance of Jesus. Neverthelss, ignorant might be a bliss in these issues, as much as i want to change to world, what can i do is nothing but babbling over things that i can never change.
Political correctness will never be introduced to Malaysia, because that would cause our ruling party lost the ability to play their triumpt card - racial issue. i've been always predicting that the descrution of our society would occur near my mid 50s.Many factors lead to my conclusion, but it was the radical mindset of UMNO youth make me believe the destruction will come earlier than that. UMNO youth just sems to be enjoying the feeling of Chinese with no mercy and yet received limited concequences from me. The former leader of UMNO youth, Hissamuddin was once standing on top of the lion statue in front of MCA hall waving Malaysian flag in triumpt, and he still managed to win the election with very small margin. If a son of former great PM could do such thing, things that the youth could do is definitely beyond imaginary
the violent videos were debated heavily not so long ago, but just like any other issues, no significant followup have been made by the ministry. I was in particular interest on the violent issues in UPM. it was not because of the video, but was because of the media conference that held by the Dean of UPM. A group of Malay students were caught on video bullying (i would acually called it a harrassment that is against the law, if there is any) a female trainee journalist. No punishment were given to the group of students, as the Dean said that video only managed to capture a small fraction of incident, as the investigation group know where what was happening.
He was then labelled the incident as 'arguement between students that was inevitable, it was proven by the fact people that were surrounding them were quite relax about it' and the female student was fell down by accident as clearly no student would hurt a lady. Then a journalist argued that it was clearly they were shouting at her. The Dean replied by saying they have seen the video, it was clearly that they were cheering, as the orientation just over, they were relatively high, that's why they were cheering abnormally loud. The journalist not satisfied with the answer, but the Dean continued by saying 'they were cheering and singing Asrama theme song with high spirit, of course it would be loud'. At the end of the conference, the Dean praised the investigation team for solving the problem efficiently and when he was asked if the university would repay for the camera that was broken due to the incident, he smilingly answer that she can always tried and claim it, but it was her who felldown and break it, the university will take it into consideration.
whoever that had watch the video would be definately amazed by the wisdom of the head of local university. Education shaped the future of our country, and this is how they are shaping it. Malaysia boleh!
If you are lucky enough to live in a country that the majority of the population has a different skin colour compare to you, then you would know these things are really happening, and yes, i was greeted with Konichiwa god knows how many times.
Political correctness has been a popular topic for the past 2 years. One of the election candidate even use it in his proposed policy. I am not too sure if he was elected, but certainly it is a topic that worth looking into, especially with the fact that i am always at the socially disadvantage side, regardless where i would be living (although someone argued with me that singapore is the only dreamland for us, the yellow-skin group).
Political correctness arises as an issue in NZ due to the mass immigrants that calling this 4-million-population country as their home. Currently there is as much as ~15% of the population are not from the initial European and Maori descendents. 15% is a significant amount of people that can topple a government, and definitely the ruling party will not let it happen. However, being concern about the political correctness is totally different with applying it. A politician that implemented an immigration policy that prohibit Chinese from gaining citizenship, can changed his mind and calling himself a 1/4 Chinese prior the the election. Amazingly he was elected and currently is the Minister of foreign affair. This is definitely politically incorrect. But as the people still greeting me with Konichiwa, i strongly doubt that anyone would give it a damn...
bringing back the spotlight to malaysia, We, the malaysian chinese are not very far off either. Calling the dedicated Indian 'keling' or the Malay 'tee-go' are equally political incorrect. But it was never an issue, because our countryman never think that it is wrong. It never concern the government, because we are living peacefully. As long nothing like13th of May occur, it is fine to discriminate one another. As long as no mainstream media report about racial issues, we will forever be the harmonic society that is 'Truely Asia'
As a multiracial country, it is amazing that how many of us did not understand the culture of other ethnicity group. I was labelled as nuts and radical when i tried to understand Islam teaching. Thank god nobody call me a terrorist when i try to look for a simple translation of Al-Quran. I never like people judging the others base on the category that they belong to. i was in true agony when i heard a comment from a 60-year old Canadian lady that US-affiliated countries should just banned any muslim entering their country. However, a true scar in my mind was caused by comment from a good number of dedicated Christian friend of my. As they were telling me about forgiveness of god, they were happily shouting hooray as the Israeli annihiliating the state of Palestine.Instead of forgiveness, they told me that Israel deserved to give revenge on the betrayer of Palestinian over few incidents. I regret for the shallow understanding of bible of them, and certainly they never do well in their history either. As they idolising the Jews, they were so blinded that he did know that Judaism never acknowledge the existance of Jesus. Neverthelss, ignorant might be a bliss in these issues, as much as i want to change to world, what can i do is nothing but babbling over things that i can never change.
Political correctness will never be introduced to Malaysia, because that would cause our ruling party lost the ability to play their triumpt card - racial issue. i've been always predicting that the descrution of our society would occur near my mid 50s.Many factors lead to my conclusion, but it was the radical mindset of UMNO youth make me believe the destruction will come earlier than that. UMNO youth just sems to be enjoying the feeling of Chinese with no mercy and yet received limited concequences from me. The former leader of UMNO youth, Hissamuddin was once standing on top of the lion statue in front of MCA hall waving Malaysian flag in triumpt, and he still managed to win the election with very small margin. If a son of former great PM could do such thing, things that the youth could do is definitely beyond imaginary
the violent videos were debated heavily not so long ago, but just like any other issues, no significant followup have been made by the ministry. I was in particular interest on the violent issues in UPM. it was not because of the video, but was because of the media conference that held by the Dean of UPM. A group of Malay students were caught on video bullying (i would acually called it a harrassment that is against the law, if there is any) a female trainee journalist. No punishment were given to the group of students, as the Dean said that video only managed to capture a small fraction of incident, as the investigation group know where what was happening.
He was then labelled the incident as 'arguement between students that was inevitable, it was proven by the fact people that were surrounding them were quite relax about it' and the female student was fell down by accident as clearly no student would hurt a lady. Then a journalist argued that it was clearly they were shouting at her. The Dean replied by saying they have seen the video, it was clearly that they were cheering, as the orientation just over, they were relatively high, that's why they were cheering abnormally loud. The journalist not satisfied with the answer, but the Dean continued by saying 'they were cheering and singing Asrama theme song with high spirit, of course it would be loud'. At the end of the conference, the Dean praised the investigation team for solving the problem efficiently and when he was asked if the university would repay for the camera that was broken due to the incident, he smilingly answer that she can always tried and claim it, but it was her who felldown and break it, the university will take it into consideration.
whoever that had watch the video would be definately amazed by the wisdom of the head of local university. Education shaped the future of our country, and this is how they are shaping it. Malaysia boleh!
joyful joyful
As our fellow countrymen reluctantly back to the polluted cities for their living, students like myself, who are undertaking academic level education under NZ/OZ system have yet again entered the examination period. This is perhaps the only period that libraries are more popular than the local pubs. As i am seeing more and more friends of mine begin their mentally breakdown phase, i am beginning to wonder why there is some people can deal with stress positively while the others couldnt. To be more specific, why do females seems to be more easily stress than man?
There's actually a lot of research out there to look for the reasons that we stress. There is this interesting research saying that people that grind their teeth while they sleeping are less likely to be stressed as they released they stress by grinding. Personally i am quite fond of this new theory as both me and my second sister grind out teeth badly since young. And believe it or not, both me and my sister can handle stress relatively well, and there is not many people that actually have seen us stress. Never in my life ever near the stage or nearly mentally breakdown. However, there are at least 4 of them, all females, that are closely related to me, seems to be streessed easily and the fact that they all did actually fell into the stage that requried medication worried me a lot. I've tried many methods to help them to improve their stress management skills, but they just seems to be lacking the talent to master it.
If the theory is true (its call Bruxism by the way), i wonder if there is any pharmaceutical company that will produce medicine that make people grind teeth.:)
There's actually a lot of research out there to look for the reasons that we stress. There is this interesting research saying that people that grind their teeth while they sleeping are less likely to be stressed as they released they stress by grinding. Personally i am quite fond of this new theory as both me and my second sister grind out teeth badly since young. And believe it or not, both me and my sister can handle stress relatively well, and there is not many people that actually have seen us stress. Never in my life ever near the stage or nearly mentally breakdown. However, there are at least 4 of them, all females, that are closely related to me, seems to be streessed easily and the fact that they all did actually fell into the stage that requried medication worried me a lot. I've tried many methods to help them to improve their stress management skills, but they just seems to be lacking the talent to master it.
If the theory is true (its call Bruxism by the way), i wonder if there is any pharmaceutical company that will produce medicine that make people grind teeth.:)
negaraku, cintaku
Never in my life heard of any ruling leader write down notes personally on what the former leader is not happy with. If the rumour is true, then he is better off by just listening to his son-in-law, at least he is part of the family, and the public would not know.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein
apparently our government not too sure about the latter.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein
apparently our government not too sure about the latter.
沉睡森林
what can a guy do when he is bored?
idea 1: play computer games - idea rejected: you need to do assignment
idea 2: go out clubbing - idea rejected: you need to do assignment
idea 3: go chill out with buddy - idea rejected: you need to do assignment
idea 4: watch youtube - idea rejected: you need to do assignment
idea 5: sleep - idea rejected: you need to do assignemtn
idea 6: blog for no reason - idea accepted: there's nothing else u can do besides your bloody assignment......
sigh, i knew it! 100% internal assessment paper is t worst~
idea 1: play computer games - idea rejected: you need to do assignment
idea 2: go out clubbing - idea rejected: you need to do assignment
idea 3: go chill out with buddy - idea rejected: you need to do assignment
idea 4: watch youtube - idea rejected: you need to do assignment
idea 5: sleep - idea rejected: you need to do assignemtn
idea 6: blog for no reason - idea accepted: there's nothing else u can do besides your bloody assignment......
sigh, i knew it! 100% internal assessment paper is t worst~
red card
when one's talking about 'red card' the first impression that comes into people mind is that it is a card that send a sport player out of the playing field ( n perhaps for most Malaysian, red card is when Zidane use his head knocked on Materrazi's face :) ). Maybe a lot of people did not realise that most sports DO have red card system, but i am quite sure hardly anyone knows about the latest defination of red card.
red card is a system that is commonly applied to young university students in New Zealand. Here's how it works: a group of people(can be formed between your friends, or maybe between all your flatmates), each of them will be given a chance to pull out their red card once a year. When that person pull out the red card, everyone else in the group must come and gather with that person regardless where you are. Then eveyone must obey and do whatever that person what to do, as long as everyone got really drunk at the end of the day...usually they r really really creative in thinking what to do, for example, i've seen a group of them wearing swimwear run around the town in a bloody cold day, but they were too drunk to realise how cold it was :)
isnt it lovely?
red card is a system that is commonly applied to young university students in New Zealand. Here's how it works: a group of people(can be formed between your friends, or maybe between all your flatmates), each of them will be given a chance to pull out their red card once a year. When that person pull out the red card, everyone else in the group must come and gather with that person regardless where you are. Then eveyone must obey and do whatever that person what to do, as long as everyone got really drunk at the end of the day...usually they r really really creative in thinking what to do, for example, i've seen a group of them wearing swimwear run around the town in a bloody cold day, but they were too drunk to realise how cold it was :)
isnt it lovely?
days of sober
i was hung over quite badly on the next day. for the whole day, i could barely eat anything. the feeling is really crap...n i felt like i am still halucinating. things are still unreal to me. things only back to normal after about 30 hours of rest....
then i started to laugh at myself o f what i did...some friends that know bits of the story starting to make fun of it, but i am okey with it, as i make fun of them all the time :) . then my flatmate came out with this really interesting theory - what if i got picked up by a desperate gay guy instead of safety patrol car? then i started to imagine what would happen to me. Imagine when i opened my eye in the morning, my ass was sore and the person that sleeping next to me was a fat chubby guy with a moustache,AAHHHHHHHH..... that is so gross~~ i wonder if it DID happen, i would become a gay guy, bisexual, phobic to male or a crazy dude...
THANK goodness i dont have to figure that out.....
then i started to laugh at myself o f what i did...some friends that know bits of the story starting to make fun of it, but i am okey with it, as i make fun of them all the time :) . then my flatmate came out with this really interesting theory - what if i got picked up by a desperate gay guy instead of safety patrol car? then i started to imagine what would happen to me. Imagine when i opened my eye in the morning, my ass was sore and the person that sleeping next to me was a fat chubby guy with a moustache,AAHHHHHHHH..... that is so gross~~ i wonder if it DID happen, i would become a gay guy, bisexual, phobic to male or a crazy dude...
THANK goodness i dont have to figure that out.....
A night of craziness
28th, September 2006- A day that is definitely worth a piece of history in my story of life. It shouldnt be something to be proud of, but somehow i am glad that i did it. for past years i have always think that i have not done anything crazy enough to define myself as a scarfie (nickname for our uni's student),but here i am, on the night of an ordinary thursday, i was extraordinarily drunk....
it was our department's wine & cheese night, organized by a classmate of mine. So the whole clubhouse was filled with friends and acquaintances, kind of cool really....we started rather slowly, but as time go one, we started to play drinking games and that's where the fun begin.....
we started to play a game in which all of us would be able to know others' secret/background/craziness, n i just cant believed how crazy they were (FYI, those stories would make every single guys in the world drool...yeah i know, i am a lucky bastard :) ) and as time goes on.....i got drunk, EXTREMELY DRUNK.....
never in my life i was so drunk. usually i would stop drinking once i feel dizzy. but for some reason, i didnt go through that stage that night..i just went straight into the cloud night...if i am not wrong, i got drunk around 11pm, and i could hardly remember less than 10seconds stuffs from 11pm till next day 8am, here's what i remembered:
i remember the last thing i did before i lost myself was me busy getting water for people. dont ask me why. i have no idea why i keep taking water to people. The memories were erased from that onwards until i realised i was puking in the toilets.Again, no memory of what happened after puking. When i opened my eye again, i was sitting outside the clubhouse,falling asleep on the sidewalk. Once i woke up, i was sleeping on a different spot, and i vaguely heard this random girl shouting at me : "haha..you were far more pissed than me~~" i was like, what's wrong with that drunken lady?forget it, i should continue sleeping...then someone tapped my shoulder, call me to get in the car, i followed...i vaguely know that they should be the Safety Patrol car. i have no idea how i tell them my house address, but yeah, i managed to reach home safely at 1.30am...and i woke up at 8am in the morning n puke :)
whoever that sent me home..thank you so much!! i know the driver was a female and there's a guy sitting next to her....n the car was quite fancy too...n they have a rubbish bin in the car for me in case i puked,whahaha.....thank you to both of u....you 2 were the unsung hero for all the drunk scarfie like me,whahaha........
p/s: i should check out how my classmates look at me on monday, then i would be able to know what happened to me during that time,haha....DAMN~i felt like i am the main character of the 'Butterfly effect'....THIS IS SO FREAKY~~
it was our department's wine & cheese night, organized by a classmate of mine. So the whole clubhouse was filled with friends and acquaintances, kind of cool really....we started rather slowly, but as time go one, we started to play drinking games and that's where the fun begin.....
we started to play a game in which all of us would be able to know others' secret/background/craziness, n i just cant believed how crazy they were (FYI, those stories would make every single guys in the world drool...yeah i know, i am a lucky bastard :) ) and as time goes on.....i got drunk, EXTREMELY DRUNK.....
never in my life i was so drunk. usually i would stop drinking once i feel dizzy. but for some reason, i didnt go through that stage that night..i just went straight into the cloud night...if i am not wrong, i got drunk around 11pm, and i could hardly remember less than 10seconds stuffs from 11pm till next day 8am, here's what i remembered:
i remember the last thing i did before i lost myself was me busy getting water for people. dont ask me why. i have no idea why i keep taking water to people. The memories were erased from that onwards until i realised i was puking in the toilets.Again, no memory of what happened after puking. When i opened my eye again, i was sitting outside the clubhouse,falling asleep on the sidewalk. Once i woke up, i was sleeping on a different spot, and i vaguely heard this random girl shouting at me : "haha..you were far more pissed than me~~" i was like, what's wrong with that drunken lady?forget it, i should continue sleeping...then someone tapped my shoulder, call me to get in the car, i followed...i vaguely know that they should be the Safety Patrol car. i have no idea how i tell them my house address, but yeah, i managed to reach home safely at 1.30am...and i woke up at 8am in the morning n puke :)
whoever that sent me home..thank you so much!! i know the driver was a female and there's a guy sitting next to her....n the car was quite fancy too...n they have a rubbish bin in the car for me in case i puked,whahaha.....thank you to both of u....you 2 were the unsung hero for all the drunk scarfie like me,whahaha........
p/s: i should check out how my classmates look at me on monday, then i would be able to know what happened to me during that time,haha....DAMN~i felt like i am the main character of the 'Butterfly effect'....THIS IS SO FREAKY~~
Forest Gum
If life is like a box of chocolate
then i must be an ice blended chocolate
the afternoon sunshine melt me up
and the night wind freeze me up
Conclusion:
THE WEATHER HERE IS F@#$ING RETARD!!
p/s: apparently 30 years ago all the chocolate in America did not have legend printed on their chocolate box, and that's why Mr. Forest come out this legendary quote. And Yes, there IS legend printed on those fancy Belgium chocolate box, go and find out yourself....
then i must be an ice blended chocolate
the afternoon sunshine melt me up
and the night wind freeze me up
Conclusion:
THE WEATHER HERE IS F@#$ING RETARD!!
p/s: apparently 30 years ago all the chocolate in America did not have legend printed on their chocolate box, and that's why Mr. Forest come out this legendary quote. And Yes, there IS legend printed on those fancy Belgium chocolate box, go and find out yourself....
aflatoxin B1
its weird to know that something big is going to happen, and it might shatter your self-deceiving wonderful world. we dare to lavishly spend our time away in useless things because al of us believe that we will have tommorow that is going to be the same as today. Imagine you have no tommorow, and imagine will be nothing but sorrow, i doubt any of you would be living today the same anymore
i am surprisingly calm facing the day to come. maybe its because i am not sure how big this news is going to be, or maybe, i'm matured enough to face all this things....
be gone...the good old days...
i am surprisingly calm facing the day to come. maybe its because i am not sure how big this news is going to be, or maybe, i'm matured enough to face all this things....
be gone...the good old days...
contralateral neglect syndrome
i have been infested by this strange feeling for the past couple of hours. its beyond description, but waves of sadness just non stop hitting me. The funny things like, every single part of my body feel all right except my left arm and the heart. there's this unexplained weakness on my left hand. if it keep on having this feel, i will start to believe that i am having contralateral neglect syndrome.
but i am familiar with this funny feeling of my heart. i know i am a science study, but i strongly believe for some unexplained reason, my body secreted vinegar and it is flowing towards my heart slowly. i felt so...sour on my heart...it sounds rediculous to me at first, but when i think it in mandarin, hey in mandarin heart broken/sad 心酸 literally means sour heart~
although its been such a long, but i know extremely well when was the last time i had this feeling....but today,i think this annoying feeling is because i am missing my home. yeap, i miss that blue and white building that i call it home. i miss the frog and insects that annoyed me with their noise in the middle of the night. i miss the fact that i need to turn on air-conditioner in order to keep my sanity. and i miss you,and you, and you, and you.....
thanks to the internet, i never felt that i am far away from everyone. as a matter of fact, sleeping in odd hour actually make me forget that there's time different between you and me. how silly of me to take so long to realise the distance between you and me.
knowing A is busy, B is leaving, C is sad, D is holiday, E is coming back from such far distance just make me felt so strange. i am like a angel that sitting on the cloud overseeing u all busy with your life, seeing you all grow, be sad, be happy while i am living in an eternal life....
being an audience in Germany might be cool, but being an audience of everyone around you, that is just so wrong.....
but i am familiar with this funny feeling of my heart. i know i am a science study, but i strongly believe for some unexplained reason, my body secreted vinegar and it is flowing towards my heart slowly. i felt so...sour on my heart...it sounds rediculous to me at first, but when i think it in mandarin, hey in mandarin heart broken/sad 心酸 literally means sour heart~
although its been such a long, but i know extremely well when was the last time i had this feeling....but today,i think this annoying feeling is because i am missing my home. yeap, i miss that blue and white building that i call it home. i miss the frog and insects that annoyed me with their noise in the middle of the night. i miss the fact that i need to turn on air-conditioner in order to keep my sanity. and i miss you,and you, and you, and you.....
thanks to the internet, i never felt that i am far away from everyone. as a matter of fact, sleeping in odd hour actually make me forget that there's time different between you and me. how silly of me to take so long to realise the distance between you and me.
knowing A is busy, B is leaving, C is sad, D is holiday, E is coming back from such far distance just make me felt so strange. i am like a angel that sitting on the cloud overseeing u all busy with your life, seeing you all grow, be sad, be happy while i am living in an eternal life....
being an audience in Germany might be cool, but being an audience of everyone around you, that is just so wrong.....
eicosapentaenoic & docosapentaenoic
being a Malaysian is like being a mother of a criminal. No matter how much crimes the son had done, the mum is still believing one day he will turn a new leaf. He will change..he will change, that's what we always tell ourself, BUT HOW COULD YOU GUYS DEFEATED BY DENMARK~~~one again we were being told that we had the best team in the world, and due to unforeseen circumstances, we were unable to recollect the precious Thomas Cup. and WHAT KIND OF LIE IS THAT HUH~~read a few comments on newspaper, and many of the critics come down to a single conclusion, and that's what is in my mind too - once again, malaysia lose in psychoogical factor due to the underestimation of the opponent and unwillingness to see the reality. Even a random badminton fan knew that who Denmark is going to send out to play again us, n y r we not well prepared? n why we keep on self convincing that losing Wong Choon Han will not make a big impact on our team?y is the coach start analysing China when we are still in the semi-final againts Denmark?
Bad habits.....sigh, there's this famous banned book (used to) call 'the ugliness of the China people' and it woke up millions of chinese in the world. Someone please, wrote a book call 'the ugliness of Malaysian' n wake all of us up~~(but make sure u r not stupid enough to publish it in Malaysia, :)~ )
ok..time to back to my EPA n DHA....
Bad habits.....sigh, there's this famous banned book (used to) call 'the ugliness of the China people' and it woke up millions of chinese in the world. Someone please, wrote a book call 'the ugliness of Malaysian' n wake all of us up~~(but make sure u r not stupid enough to publish it in Malaysia, :)~ )
ok..time to back to my EPA n DHA....
freedom
people been talking about freedom for the past few months.
'come on~ you r getting married soon, have fun before you lost your freedom!'
' what? your gf stopped you from going out? where's your freedom right?'
' you better travel as many place as you could before you give up your freedom to your boss'
its funny that how much i wish that i am 21 year old when i was young so that i could have as much freedom as i could, but as i am 22 year old now, things just not as what i was hoping for. its true that you would have no one to nag you for going out late, n you can just go anywhere you wish to. erm...technically what i said is true, but there's another thing pop out of no where n stop you from doing whatever your heart told you to do so. Responsibility. its my responsibility as a student to excel in study, so i cant go out. its my responsibility to let my gf feel secure, so i cant just go where ever i want. its my responsibility to take good care of my health, so i cant just get high n drunk n sleep on the road until 6 o'clock in the morning. its my responsibility to take care of my aging parent, so i must try n save up money n hopefully in the future i can allow them living in luxury
life can be simple, with condition if you are single and no family responsibility. but i am not complaining. because that's my responsibility. freedom is too abstract for me now. i leave it to all of you who have not discovered the burden.
'come on~ you r getting married soon, have fun before you lost your freedom!'
' what? your gf stopped you from going out? where's your freedom right?'
' you better travel as many place as you could before you give up your freedom to your boss'
its funny that how much i wish that i am 21 year old when i was young so that i could have as much freedom as i could, but as i am 22 year old now, things just not as what i was hoping for. its true that you would have no one to nag you for going out late, n you can just go anywhere you wish to. erm...technically what i said is true, but there's another thing pop out of no where n stop you from doing whatever your heart told you to do so. Responsibility. its my responsibility as a student to excel in study, so i cant go out. its my responsibility to let my gf feel secure, so i cant just go where ever i want. its my responsibility to take good care of my health, so i cant just get high n drunk n sleep on the road until 6 o'clock in the morning. its my responsibility to take care of my aging parent, so i must try n save up money n hopefully in the future i can allow them living in luxury
life can be simple, with condition if you are single and no family responsibility. but i am not complaining. because that's my responsibility. freedom is too abstract for me now. i leave it to all of you who have not discovered the burden.
strapylococcus pyogenes
i do believe inside each human, there's a small part of us are masochist. not in a sexual way, but enjoy being tortured by events or people around us. take an example, exam is 2 weeks ago, but we would rather lying on the bed and counting star and only work our ass off at the eve of the exam. same things for assignment, n now i find myself enjoy doing random stuff like surfing net or bloggin when i am really busy.
i think later i would try a make a new page for my travel diary, n place a link in this page, then it would help me to kill off approximately 5 hours, woohoo, less time to do work~yeah, i am a masochist.....
i think later i would try a make a new page for my travel diary, n place a link in this page, then it would help me to kill off approximately 5 hours, woohoo, less time to do work~yeah, i am a masochist.....
dilemma
till now i'm still questioning the existance of a (my) blog. blogging can be quite a good way to express your anger, happiness or frustration. but it may means that you are sharing your privacy. people always find it very offending when a family member read their dairy, n yet writing blog is like unlock the locket n potentially allowing everyone in the world read about it.
sometime i jsut have so much urge to share the issue to people, but if i do, i'm pretty sure somehow it would reach the ear of whoever that not suppose to know. but if i cant even write whatever in my mind, which is the basic of a blog, then why am i having one at the first place?
arhh...F#$% it ....swearing sometime is the best way to express your feeling. i dont have to tell people what's going on n yet ppl know well that you are pissed. it can be annoying when u try to let ppl know u r not happy n yet they couldnt get the hint, but by swearing, they got it straightaway. isnt that wonderful?
sometime i jsut have so much urge to share the issue to people, but if i do, i'm pretty sure somehow it would reach the ear of whoever that not suppose to know. but if i cant even write whatever in my mind, which is the basic of a blog, then why am i having one at the first place?
arhh...F#$% it ....swearing sometime is the best way to express your feeling. i dont have to tell people what's going on n yet ppl know well that you are pissed. it can be annoying when u try to let ppl know u r not happy n yet they couldnt get the hint, but by swearing, they got it straightaway. isnt that wonderful?
its been a while~~
ha ha....finally i got my laptop back~ to share my happiness, i decided to clear all the spider web on this page n post up a new thing~ woohoo~~~applause! applause!! thank you thank you
ok,enough of the lameness,...i had the busiest weeks for the past 14 days, but for the first time, i felt so holiday during the semester break. it doenst make sense i know, on holiday of course feel like holiday. but for most of the year, my school days were just like holiday, so i dont see the significant of it, n definitely would not get excited because of that. but now..phew~ i just felt so relieve n relax ( not my jaw though, jsut had surgicval removed my wisdom tooth, my jaw felt like being screwed to watever bone n unable to move much)
yesterday had a drinking session at my fren's flat to celebrate the beginning of holiday.n most of them are good boy n good girl i.e, had not take nalcohol in their life before! so not surprisingly, in 30 minutes, practically everyone is drunk~i was not drunk because i do consider myself a good drinker, n i was on antibiotic, i didnt take a single sip of alcohol at all (damn it!) so ya, its so fun to see them get drunk. the first guy was jsut standing, suddenly he announced he is sleey,then he jsut fall flat to the floor! then another girl just collapse while playing mah jong half way! then these 2 girls totally change to another person. one became so aggresive n keep on pouring water on ppl's shirt, another girl just became the cutest kid u can ever find in this world...
sigh..alcohol......
ok,enough of the lameness,...i had the busiest weeks for the past 14 days, but for the first time, i felt so holiday during the semester break. it doenst make sense i know, on holiday of course feel like holiday. but for most of the year, my school days were just like holiday, so i dont see the significant of it, n definitely would not get excited because of that. but now..phew~ i just felt so relieve n relax ( not my jaw though, jsut had surgicval removed my wisdom tooth, my jaw felt like being screwed to watever bone n unable to move much)
yesterday had a drinking session at my fren's flat to celebrate the beginning of holiday.n most of them are good boy n good girl i.e, had not take nalcohol in their life before! so not surprisingly, in 30 minutes, practically everyone is drunk~i was not drunk because i do consider myself a good drinker, n i was on antibiotic, i didnt take a single sip of alcohol at all (damn it!) so ya, its so fun to see them get drunk. the first guy was jsut standing, suddenly he announced he is sleey,then he jsut fall flat to the floor! then another girl just collapse while playing mah jong half way! then these 2 girls totally change to another person. one became so aggresive n keep on pouring water on ppl's shirt, another girl just became the cutest kid u can ever find in this world...
sigh..alcohol......
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