i surprised myself too when i have no obvious wish list jump into my head as i am writing the title. Man, i am getting just a little bit too lay-back...ok think think, start with health:
1. daily 5min simple workout, 2 -3 times a week morning jog --- time to get serious on maintaining good shape as stomach is getting far easier to go round. Ok, maybe i should include a chin-up exercise stand as a wish list of year 2011.
2. pick up a random skill - i think i am taking up kayaking in first week of jan, so as per previous few years, a easily achievable resolution :)
3. take a spontaneous trip - i believe i will travel at least 4 times this year, so high 5 to being broke :)
4. complete CFA level 1 if i fail, and continue reviewing if i pass - decided to postpone level 2, as i am far from learning the gist of level 1, so i must complete it and benefit out of it by year 2011.
5. career advancement into a role emphasize more on advisory - know quite it most likely a actually movement will happen only in year 2012, but heck, this is my wishlist :)
6. increase income by 20% - ok, this is gonna be tough for sure....especially when item no. 3 very likely jeopardize my chance of earning money through investment.
7. have my emergency fund (not to be invested) park at bank safely - again, tough 1....rule of thumb, 6 months of basic salary ( ok la, 3 months also pass already)
8. hahaha.....again, complete my travel log!
9. Decided not to fix any amount of time in my reading hour, as it should a joyful thing to do so. Instead, i shall fixed myself as to complete reading 2 type of books that is totally different from what i would usually read.
10. charity! must-start-donating-in-schedule
11. remember the current self, not over-driven by certain objectivity in life and forget about the beauty of the journey reaching there.
12. embrace active-listening, and learn to interrupt at the right moment. And do not speak when you do not hear the whole conversation. And be humble....
hm....looks like yet another long list, and i was just saying i have nothing i mind, ha....but i do see the changes in the items that i am seeking for improvement. So we shall see a year later then!
feeling home
i am sure that i wasnt the only person had this feeling before. Whenever you spent a night at somewhere else, no matter how comfortable the bed is ,or how wonderful the host has treated you, there's always a tingling sensation that making yourself hard to put your guard down wholeheartedly. When you are finally home after being away for a while, you just cant help but feel RELIEVE! as you are putting down your luggage in your room. The bed just seems so irresistible to you and you will joyfully jump on your bed and give your slightly cold duvet and love hug...
I have vague definition on home ever since the year i left my country for tertiary education. Home is where the opportunities lie, that has been stayed truth on my heart for all these years, and myself has never let geography boundary stop me from seeking opportunity (though it has not been that fruitful). However, it was this year, that i had a rather refreshing feel about my home.
for some reason, the frequency of me being home alone for days increase tremendously compare to previous years. And i have always love to be alone, be it home or travel. Its not that i am antisocial or hate my family. On the contrary, i enjoys human contact and i have great family bonding will all my family members. However, it has always my nature that if given a choice, after a long day, i wish to be alone, sitting on the sofa, listening to soft music, sipping a cup of hot drinks while reading through non-academic books/magazine. When i am happy, i'll do the same. When i'm sad, i'll do the same. When i am traveling alone, i'll do the same thing as well.
Thanks to the extra personal moments that was granted to me, i am beginning to regaining those lay-back, chill mentality that i've lost it since i left Aotearoa ie NZ. It was until this year that i have back these comfort feeling when i'm home alone. It's irony, i know, for acknowledging the comfort feeling in a foreign land that i have stayed only 3 years, instead of the place that i have stayed for close to decade before and after i leave the country. I guess, experience that you gained along the years do change a person so radical that one could not recall how it was like before.
I do not know how can i put it in words, but i felt like my emotion is behaving like a vaccinated memory-cell, every single small exposure to the past excites the memory-cell, manifesting a series of chain reaction, leaving a fever-like feeling in my heart.
I am still breathing the air, but it tasted less humid. I am still under the same fan, but the wind is more gentle. Coffee taste the same, but it doesn't really matter much.
I'm just feeling... content. Just like the good old day.
I have vague definition on home ever since the year i left my country for tertiary education. Home is where the opportunities lie, that has been stayed truth on my heart for all these years, and myself has never let geography boundary stop me from seeking opportunity (though it has not been that fruitful). However, it was this year, that i had a rather refreshing feel about my home.
for some reason, the frequency of me being home alone for days increase tremendously compare to previous years. And i have always love to be alone, be it home or travel. Its not that i am antisocial or hate my family. On the contrary, i enjoys human contact and i have great family bonding will all my family members. However, it has always my nature that if given a choice, after a long day, i wish to be alone, sitting on the sofa, listening to soft music, sipping a cup of hot drinks while reading through non-academic books/magazine. When i am happy, i'll do the same. When i'm sad, i'll do the same. When i am traveling alone, i'll do the same thing as well.
Thanks to the extra personal moments that was granted to me, i am beginning to regaining those lay-back, chill mentality that i've lost it since i left Aotearoa ie NZ. It was until this year that i have back these comfort feeling when i'm home alone. It's irony, i know, for acknowledging the comfort feeling in a foreign land that i have stayed only 3 years, instead of the place that i have stayed for close to decade before and after i leave the country. I guess, experience that you gained along the years do change a person so radical that one could not recall how it was like before.
I do not know how can i put it in words, but i felt like my emotion is behaving like a vaccinated memory-cell, every single small exposure to the past excites the memory-cell, manifesting a series of chain reaction, leaving a fever-like feeling in my heart.
I am still breathing the air, but it tasted less humid. I am still under the same fan, but the wind is more gentle. Coffee taste the same, but it doesn't really matter much.
I'm just feeling... content. Just like the good old day.
reflection of twenty ten
once again, its time to look at my checklist and see if i have actually followed whatever resolution i have made. seriously, i cant recall a single resolution, not until i cut and paste the list for the 1 year old post. ok...time for reality check.
1. read at least 30min of books before going to bed - fail. Well, i did spend more time on books, but compared to college time, it is still really little. But i started reading books that i never thought i would be interested though.
2. exercise the 10min workout set i did exercise, but is less than 10min...erm....pass lar~
3. 1 day of random new skill (at the moment is hip hop), 1 day of badminton or squash, 3 days of gym per week - well, i set this rules because i was expecting myself to be a freelancer for the whole year..but since there is a change of plan along the way. This resolution no longer applicable.
4. raise my yearly income to above RM60,000 once again -wow, i actually wrote a figure here??! erm....okey, this is awkward.....erm....ok la, satisfactory....haha...
5. go for a spontaneous trip with friend -well, i did it on the first day of year 2010, so a big yes...and i guess will be doing more in year 2011
6.schedule work and play time in the right ratio- erm...i spent more of the free time in study. so dont think i pass this resolution. but i did have fun though...erm....ok la, fail this 1...
7. complete my CFP, and keep the option of challenging CIFP - a big yes to CFP and CIFP no longer applicable to my choice, and heck, i even take up CFA, so a big pass!
8. make profit from the trading progam -biggest failure of all, sigh....
9. purchase a ~RM120,000 car in december -ok, this is such a bad choice of resolution. why would i think of getting a new car? not the time yet.....
10. donate money for charity -ok, this is really shameful....my friend didnt ask monye from me, and i forgot to pay for it.....fail! or maybe i should pay a lump sum to him before this year end....hm....not a bad i dea
11. spend time writing down journal /story at least 4 times a week -hahaha....this is like a resolution that i fail on a yearly basis.
12. forget the past, and move on in terms of relationship, take things slowly -erm....i did try to hit on a girl, but soon i realize its either i wasnt ready, or she's not exactly the right person. No seeing the light of attaching to anyone still....
13. the most important of all, find the reasons to achieve all this. with nothing to inspire on, all this will just plain talk - well i do believe i know myself better than ever, so this is a yes :)
1. read at least 30min of books before going to bed - fail. Well, i did spend more time on books, but compared to college time, it is still really little. But i started reading books that i never thought i would be interested though.
2. exercise the 10min workout set i did exercise, but is less than 10min...erm....pass lar~
3. 1 day of random new skill (at the moment is hip hop), 1 day of badminton or squash, 3 days of gym per week - well, i set this rules because i was expecting myself to be a freelancer for the whole year..but since there is a change of plan along the way. This resolution no longer applicable.
4. raise my yearly income to above RM60,000 once again -wow, i actually wrote a figure here??! erm....okey, this is awkward.....erm....ok la, satisfactory....haha...
5. go for a spontaneous trip with friend -well, i did it on the first day of year 2010, so a big yes...and i guess will be doing more in year 2011
6.schedule work and play time in the right ratio- erm...i spent more of the free time in study. so dont think i pass this resolution. but i did have fun though...erm....ok la, fail this 1...
7. complete my CFP, and keep the option of challenging CIFP - a big yes to CFP and CIFP no longer applicable to my choice, and heck, i even take up CFA, so a big pass!
8. make profit from the trading progam -biggest failure of all, sigh....
9. purchase a ~RM120,000 car in december -ok, this is such a bad choice of resolution. why would i think of getting a new car? not the time yet.....
10. donate money for charity -ok, this is really shameful....my friend didnt ask monye from me, and i forgot to pay for it.....fail! or maybe i should pay a lump sum to him before this year end....hm....not a bad i dea
11. spend time writing down journal /story at least 4 times a week -hahaha....this is like a resolution that i fail on a yearly basis.
12. forget the past, and move on in terms of relationship, take things slowly -erm....i did try to hit on a girl, but soon i realize its either i wasnt ready, or she's not exactly the right person. No seeing the light of attaching to anyone still....
13. the most important of all, find the reasons to achieve all this. with nothing to inspire on, all this will just plain talk - well i do believe i know myself better than ever, so this is a yes :)
ok, final score, 5/12 achieve = 41%
i am quite content with the score actually, given the fact that i have actually changed my mind rather radically in the middle of year 2010.
if a sentence is needed to summarize the year, i guess "slow, in order to be fast" is what i have learn in year 2010. Many things cannot be rushed, and for the past few years i have been too obsessed with young success story, making myself felt so frustrated for not achieving anything before age 25 like many famous guys do. As the year pass, i am beginning to see things in longer horizon, i am still learning, but is more capable of holding myself from making hasty decision. I am more able to accept that i could be just an average joe, and that thought no longer put me down or stop me from try to be different.....
year 2010, is the year that make me start walking, instead of lying on the bed dreaming of flying.
I'm still dreaming, but i know the more likely way is to start walking to the distant airport.
phase
If you have ever joint a multilevel marketing conference/meeting, i am sure you have heard of the story of how a frog being cooked in a slowly heat up pot compared to another escaped frog that is being transferred from a colder pot to a hot pot. I had heard of it a couple of times, and well understood the moral behind the story, but it still cant prevent myself from suffering the changes in life. It diffuse slowly, almost unnoticeable, and bang! its a brand new ball game...
Not so long ago, i am beginning to feel out of place for various reason. Club scene beginning to looks like teenage prom to me, popular drama's plot insult my intelligence level badly, Movies and Music Video are all featuring unfamiliar faces and liking them is almost like being paedophilic, choices of clothes are down to pathetic G2000, padini or U2 (er...this is not such a good example, bcoz money played a bigger role in this case), and what really hits me real hard is, radio station are not longer catering for my age group.
Aging is an awesome process, i still think it is. Getting older doesnt make you detached from the society. What actually happen is, the marketing scheme is longer treating you as the target audience. God knows how much we have influenced by advertisement, and when i was a student, everything on display, everywhere the marketing program is, it all seems relevant to me, making me super envy +jealous +green monster+hate not being end with the last name Gates.
Now things has changed. Lots of hot selling items are not exactly attractive to me, and i AM comfortable for being slightly different. there's a saying that advertisement company will ignore consumer that stop buying music, and you bet i am well being in that category.
From time to time, i still wish to have the similar attention given by the world (advertising company, to be exact, but heck, they do make me feel like top of the world..), but i guess, by accepting we are no longer the target group, it may helps us to move on better. Perhaps, this may help me complaint lesser towards the media and the mall, and making a far less cynical growing man...
Not so long ago, i am beginning to feel out of place for various reason. Club scene beginning to looks like teenage prom to me, popular drama's plot insult my intelligence level badly, Movies and Music Video are all featuring unfamiliar faces and liking them is almost like being paedophilic, choices of clothes are down to pathetic G2000, padini or U2 (er...this is not such a good example, bcoz money played a bigger role in this case), and what really hits me real hard is, radio station are not longer catering for my age group.
Aging is an awesome process, i still think it is. Getting older doesnt make you detached from the society. What actually happen is, the marketing scheme is longer treating you as the target audience. God knows how much we have influenced by advertisement, and when i was a student, everything on display, everywhere the marketing program is, it all seems relevant to me, making me super envy +jealous +green monster+hate not being end with the last name Gates.
Now things has changed. Lots of hot selling items are not exactly attractive to me, and i AM comfortable for being slightly different. there's a saying that advertisement company will ignore consumer that stop buying music, and you bet i am well being in that category.
From time to time, i still wish to have the similar attention given by the world (advertising company, to be exact, but heck, they do make me feel like top of the world..), but i guess, by accepting we are no longer the target group, it may helps us to move on better. Perhaps, this may help me complaint lesser towards the media and the mall, and making a far less cynical growing man...
more than just a number
was listening to radio, and the Deejay was asking listener to sum up the year with a single word....few words came into my mind, "new", "messy", "corrupt", just to name a few. However, i just cant find any word that can summarized the year.
Had a hectic workday, by the time i complete my day task, its almost eight. Reached home with an empty skull, and body subconsciously walked towards kitchen to scout for food.
Home alone, just the way i like it.
*play* Corinne Bailey Rae - Like a Star
Just like a star across my sky
Just like an angel off the page
You have appeared to my life
Feel like I'll never be the same
Just like a song in my heart
Just like oil on my hands
Oh, I do love you
Still I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you
We do it all the time
Blowing out my mind
You've got this look I can't describe
You make me feel like I'm alive
When everything else is a fade
Without a doubt you're on my side
Heaven has been away too long
Can't find the words to write this song
Oh, your love
Still I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"phase" - a word comes into my year. That's the word of the year for me.
Yes, i have stepped into another phase of life.
Had a hectic workday, by the time i complete my day task, its almost eight. Reached home with an empty skull, and body subconsciously walked towards kitchen to scout for food.
Home alone, just the way i like it.
*play* Corinne Bailey Rae - Like a Star
Just like a star across my sky
Just like an angel off the page
You have appeared to my life
Feel like I'll never be the same
Just like a song in my heart
Just like oil on my hands
Oh, I do love you
Still I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you
We do it all the time
Blowing out my mind
You've got this look I can't describe
You make me feel like I'm alive
When everything else is a fade
Without a doubt you're on my side
Heaven has been away too long
Can't find the words to write this song
Oh, your love
Still I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"phase" - a word comes into my year. That's the word of the year for me.
Yes, i have stepped into another phase of life.
a night of self-talking....
I sat on the bed, recalling all the advices that i had been receiving since i made a public declaration of wanting being a banker. Not knowing exactly the differences between various banking sector, i just declared my wishes by spamming many HR department and joint one of the establishment with little issue.
Here's the issue, i was not suppose to jump into another industry with little issue. It should be full of rejection, frustration and despair. I have a science degree, which is literally of no use in banking industry besides teaching my boss to be healthy (that is, if, i chose to teach). And so, I cheated my way into the industry by joining the sales sector, which is of course, far more forgiving, as long as you are showing great potential in bringing in the cash.
Perhaps, the environment, and the work experiences have shaped me into a good sales personnel, but the true fact never change; me, wish nothing more than not being the front liner. Let me do the analysis, let me do the research, and i shall grant you my finding.
So, the reality has hit me. Yes, i have joint the industry. Yes, i am getting more resources to learn about financial industry. But the truth is, i am definitely on the wrong path. It may get me to Rome with all the mighty building, but my destination is actually the lay-back Copenhagen.
I need to clear a new path, with the sword name knowledge. Not easy it seems to acquire the sword. Mental strength is the key to lift up the sword. I need to cheer myself up, I need to convince myself that it is possible to walk through the dark forest. Stop hoping for a lucky discovery and escape from here! hold your breath, be all gung-ho, work hard for the next 3 months! A dim light, if not the exit, shall shine on me.
i can do it! this is the only way! let's go for it!!!!!!!!!5 months later, after the hardwork, you will be a changed person. i know you will....yes you will......
i am here to learn....i am here to learn....i am here to learn....i am here to learn......initiate to learn.......initiate to learn... initiate to learn.........
Here's the issue, i was not suppose to jump into another industry with little issue. It should be full of rejection, frustration and despair. I have a science degree, which is literally of no use in banking industry besides teaching my boss to be healthy (that is, if, i chose to teach). And so, I cheated my way into the industry by joining the sales sector, which is of course, far more forgiving, as long as you are showing great potential in bringing in the cash.
Perhaps, the environment, and the work experiences have shaped me into a good sales personnel, but the true fact never change; me, wish nothing more than not being the front liner. Let me do the analysis, let me do the research, and i shall grant you my finding.
So, the reality has hit me. Yes, i have joint the industry. Yes, i am getting more resources to learn about financial industry. But the truth is, i am definitely on the wrong path. It may get me to Rome with all the mighty building, but my destination is actually the lay-back Copenhagen.
I need to clear a new path, with the sword name knowledge. Not easy it seems to acquire the sword. Mental strength is the key to lift up the sword. I need to cheer myself up, I need to convince myself that it is possible to walk through the dark forest. Stop hoping for a lucky discovery and escape from here! hold your breath, be all gung-ho, work hard for the next 3 months! A dim light, if not the exit, shall shine on me.
i can do it! this is the only way! let's go for it!!!!!!!!!5 months later, after the hardwork, you will be a changed person. i know you will....yes you will......
i am here to learn....i am here to learn....i am here to learn....i am here to learn......initiate to learn.......initiate to learn... initiate to learn.........
another year older :)
10.30pm, switched off the light. Stared at the darkness for 5second. Wait a second, its my birthday after all, i should really write something down about today...
today pretty much is just another ordinary day. Most of my friend except my ex-colleagues find it so amazing that i actually have no plan for my birthday. Well, i guess only my ex-colleague would know that i am actually not that playful contradict to popular believe. I dunno how, but somehow, these group of people that i spent the most time with for the past 2 years just seems to know something about yourself that most people that are not aware of. But once you are out o the circle, the link between you and them just disappeared in a very rapid way. Wasnt complaining, just writing out a fact that i felt strongly.
yesterday attended a class with a friend/ex-colleague that born on the same day. Greeted happy birthday to each other with french fried few hours before our birthday, the meet up with a friend for a drink. Wasnt planning to do any celebration, it is just so happened that on the eve of my birthday itself, i need to meet up with him for a drink and discuss business related issue.
i have only got to know this guy less than 5 months, but i was enlighten by him in many ways that i am very grateful of. He has very similar vision as i do, but he has been executing it extremely well, which in turn motivated me to work towards the goal (in a different manner though).And so happened a friend of his called him up before the meet up, so 3 of us ended up drinking 2 buckets of beer until 3am, and i only let them know about my birthday when its about 2am. it was really a care free meet up. we were playing cards, laughing, making fun of the only lady, and sipping the beer along with the background R&B.
i felt surprisingly delightful as i was driving back home; a celebration can be just so simple, and yet so enjoyable, even without all your closest friends.
almost all the wishes that i received this year is about me getting a gf. wasnt aware that 26 year old is a threshold for danger. Or maybe they really think i need some luck to get one (that would be really mean....).But its all good, they all mean well after all.....glad that many of them still choose to call me instead of facebook me....well, sms is not the best, but still way better than facebook i reckon....
happy 26th birthday :)
today pretty much is just another ordinary day. Most of my friend except my ex-colleagues find it so amazing that i actually have no plan for my birthday. Well, i guess only my ex-colleague would know that i am actually not that playful contradict to popular believe. I dunno how, but somehow, these group of people that i spent the most time with for the past 2 years just seems to know something about yourself that most people that are not aware of. But once you are out o the circle, the link between you and them just disappeared in a very rapid way. Wasnt complaining, just writing out a fact that i felt strongly.
yesterday attended a class with a friend/ex-colleague that born on the same day. Greeted happy birthday to each other with french fried few hours before our birthday, the meet up with a friend for a drink. Wasnt planning to do any celebration, it is just so happened that on the eve of my birthday itself, i need to meet up with him for a drink and discuss business related issue.
i have only got to know this guy less than 5 months, but i was enlighten by him in many ways that i am very grateful of. He has very similar vision as i do, but he has been executing it extremely well, which in turn motivated me to work towards the goal (in a different manner though).And so happened a friend of his called him up before the meet up, so 3 of us ended up drinking 2 buckets of beer until 3am, and i only let them know about my birthday when its about 2am. it was really a care free meet up. we were playing cards, laughing, making fun of the only lady, and sipping the beer along with the background R&B.
i felt surprisingly delightful as i was driving back home; a celebration can be just so simple, and yet so enjoyable, even without all your closest friends.
almost all the wishes that i received this year is about me getting a gf. wasnt aware that 26 year old is a threshold for danger. Or maybe they really think i need some luck to get one (that would be really mean....).But its all good, they all mean well after all.....glad that many of them still choose to call me instead of facebook me....well, sms is not the best, but still way better than facebook i reckon....
happy 26th birthday :)
emotion...
i always thought that i am actually quite a calm person, and i can hide my emotion well. But during the CNY when i was playing texas poker with my buddies, i was always at the losing end. So i started to think i am actually quite emotionally driven, contradict to what i believe in.
then today i started a trading that i have been learning for quite a while. To my surprise, i was so attached to the trade that i find myself so hard not to look at it, and my heart beat just goes up and down along with the graph.
was i never a rational person? strange...i always thought i am.....
then today i started a trading that i have been learning for quite a while. To my surprise, i was so attached to the trade that i find myself so hard not to look at it, and my heart beat just goes up and down along with the graph.
was i never a rational person? strange...i always thought i am.....
around the world....
traveling around the world might be THE dream for most human being, but i doubt other species would be happy with such an idea....
Africa abalone, California geoduck, Autralia lobster, Sabah Sun Hong Fish, Oyster and Snow crab from the deep blue sea; traveled across the globe for the sole purpose of filling up my tummy. Well done guys, you have found a great place to call it home :)
before the dinner, watched "up in the air", which is about a man who pretty much traveled the whole America on a daily basis. The movie challenge the idea of 'home' and it does gave me an impact on the meaning of spending our time in between places. What if, i travel as much as he does? what if, flying is the only way to comfort my soul? what if?
compared to my cousin, i wouldnt dare said that i travel frequent, but it is good enough to connect both of us to the movie. sitting alone in the airport, partially enjoying the artificial friendly environment, allowing the monitor signboard to dictate our duration in the waiting lounge.
This is life...
This is life?
this is life!
this, is life.
As the seafood traveling to my tummy, was i, at same time, traveling into someone's fishing net?
not a bad way to end my CNY indeed.
Africa abalone, California geoduck, Autralia lobster, Sabah Sun Hong Fish, Oyster and Snow crab from the deep blue sea; traveled across the globe for the sole purpose of filling up my tummy. Well done guys, you have found a great place to call it home :)
before the dinner, watched "up in the air", which is about a man who pretty much traveled the whole America on a daily basis. The movie challenge the idea of 'home' and it does gave me an impact on the meaning of spending our time in between places. What if, i travel as much as he does? what if, flying is the only way to comfort my soul? what if?
compared to my cousin, i wouldnt dare said that i travel frequent, but it is good enough to connect both of us to the movie. sitting alone in the airport, partially enjoying the artificial friendly environment, allowing the monitor signboard to dictate our duration in the waiting lounge.
This is life...
This is life?
this is life!
this, is life.
As the seafood traveling to my tummy, was i, at same time, traveling into someone's fishing net?
not a bad way to end my CNY indeed.
a looooooooooong grumble
last week i was stucked in Indonesia Embassy for almost 7 hours doing nothing. It was a favor asked by my uncle, and being deemed as the family member that pretty much contributes nothing to the rest, i was being volunteered to do the donkey job.
so i was dead bored, and start writing words on my phone until it ran out of battery....dont think it makes much sense even to myself, but i do want to keep it online for future reference. after all, it is a form self reflection....
warning- really really long post......
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Stucked in the indonesia embassy. Feeling extremely bored. Couldn't find any newspaper, and there's no Digi man in the waiting area, so i cant talk to people over the phone. But oh well, not many ppl can talk to me at 10am, can they?I guess this is one of the few occasion that i actually feel grateful about having this window mobile...no one to talk to? Fear not! Talk to yourself!
Hasnt been really talking to myself for a while now. Occasionally i did question myself on several issues, but i guess that is more of a talking than communicating.So what should i talk to myself? Had enough career stuff, let's talk something light....hm...how's family? Well, dad is still the same,forgetten half, n remember the rest. Not sure when he picked up the habit of mopping the floor, washing the car, and flipping over the hanging cloths whenever he is home, but he is doing it on a daily basis. Its not that mum or maid not doing it, but he just has to do it again. Scolded him in many occasions, but he still doing it. Now i am accepting it as a norm, but deep down kinda worry that these are parts of the syndrome for alzheimer's disease.Spent some money on checking it, but nothing seems to be wrong. But like my friend said, since there is virtually nothing you can do even u r sure about the disease, what is actually the purpose of knowing it? I ponder on this question for several nights.
How about mum? Mum is all right, definitely enjoying her life much more compared to year before. Its been lousy for past few years,but things are going the good way. She is having this group of dancing friend that she can hang out in mamak until wee hour. This is very encouraging for a later past 50 years old. At least she is having a good social life. But having said that, i know she has her own issue as well. She need to deal with dad that is always forgetful, n hotter temper compared to few years back. And seeing my dad doing domestic works always getting into her nerves. And she is definitely getting more white hairs. She never mentioned it, but lately i do realized mum n dad is actually always manage the money in a way that is just enough to cover. She never ask money from us, or letting us know how it is actually, but they just capable of going through all kind of ups and down. If not because they brought it over casually, i wouldnt know that the reason that she always cooked stingray during form 1 was because that is the only type of meat she could afford. And i always thought it was because dad like it.
I am so grateful that i was never a big spender, i dont even own a single magazine/toy/comics after i was 10. The funny thing is, parents never stop me from buying all this, as much as it might actually became a burden to them. So with such blessing in disguise, i was surprisingly brought up without any financial issues in my head (although its like THE problem all the time to my parent)Nowadays the biggest headache for my mum is to how to estimate dinner as my sister and i tend to have dinner with friend in ad hoc basis. Thanks to all the chinese drama and a little bit of own experience, i understand such frustration better, and not seeing it as a small issue compare to work issue anymore...after all, for mum, domestic issue is equivalent to our work's issue, and who has the right to say it is less important compare to works?so nowadays i always mentioned in advance, n hopefully she will feel better in such way.Then by far i guess i am her biggest problem at the moment. She always worried that i have not enough money, (which sometimes is true),or not saving enough for future.
Well, me being single is beginning to worry her as well. Sigh...all i can said is, this 2 issue is very much related. Once things going the right way, i will try to engage in relationship and keep her from worrying things. After all, it is kinda humiliating to be worried over this issue, like i am incapable of attracting the fairer sex.My 3 sisters? Each of them have their own issues,but they are having their own kind of happiness as well. I would dare said they will not trade anything for current life at all. Well, most of the issues are money related, and if money is the only issues, it will not be an issue eventually. I have faith in them, n having a small faith in myself that i will make it and ease any money related issue.Me? I would said that i am equiping myself with lots of stuff. Like a soldier that has been training in a virtual war. Still waiting for the commander to call upon into real war, and not sure if what i learn is useful in real war.I have been telling myself i am still young, so just take things slowly and learning should be the priority. But at the same time, i am worried that my parent cant wait. What if alzheimer kick in? This is always the torn inside me that poking me occasionally. I dont mind failing and start from zero, but can my parent handle it?Well, dont think i will start from zero. Doubt tat i will compromise till that degree.
i am sincerely believing that if i wan a sales job, i can grant it in a month time, but i will probably be a very unhappy man. There is just so many things i wan to give it a shot, so much so that i am reluctant to repeat whatever i have done. Silly may it sound, but i seek excitement in life above many things. And yet it is only applicable to certain issue only. Relationship wise, i am rather loyal, and wants nothing more than a simple love. A simple happiness, like a walk in the park, cooking dinner for each other,or a kiss on forehead everyday when i wake up is good enough for me. I hates complication, so i tend to keep things simple, but it never do. Just realized i have an issue of deciding. But once i made the decision, i take the action wayyy to fast that i ignore the changes occur that maybe i should not be making a decision at all. So if someone ask why i do that, the honest answer would have been i am not too sure, i was just following what i had decided not so long ago, but cant remember how i come out with that decision.
Phew....this is such a long wait, i am beginning to run out of things to write. 26 more to go, i hope....the number is just jumping around in a manner that perhaps only the staff understand.Okey, writer's block....lets talk about the embassy. Seriously, this is definitely a busy embassy. Not often you would see 25 counters that are working all at once. Or maybe, i am just too use to seeing empty counter in government agency that i find it impressive about something that it should have been. Just like any agency, they have the issue of smiling.
Seriously, it's not that costly to smile right....the security of the embassy is really loose i think, but i guess if you dont do so, you will have thousand of people queuing on the main tun razak road, which is definitely disastrous. Or perhaps, its only loose in the public section. Actual side may be rather strict. But then again, its indonesia embassy, doubt anyone would throw something into them. One thing really good about the embassy is that they actually provide free photo shooting and free photocopy, and they are charging their passport for rm18 only. We malaysian pay freaking rm300 and yet we dont even have all these services! Seriously, our passport is way to overprice. And 2 days ago they actually proudly saying that they have upgraded the security and not charging extra on public because they are understanding of current economy.
Ofcoz you wouldnt, because it has been overprice all this while. Increasing the fees to rm300 was only a temporary measurement during asia economic crisis as a method of discouraging people from going oversea. And now it became a form of steady income for the government. All this can be done without furore is because it is passed in the parliment like any other funny regulations. What to do, it will never have any objection, or else diciplinary action can be taken. Thank god things are changing,well, slowly, but definitely changing. I know a lot of people are frustrated with current condition and rather not have any change. But people, think long term! It is extremely important for us to continue to bite on the bitter path, and keep pushing forward. It may take a while to remove the huge rock, but just keep pushing, the day of pushing over the rock is near!
I am tired....sleepy....tired.....sleepy
so i was dead bored, and start writing words on my phone until it ran out of battery....dont think it makes much sense even to myself, but i do want to keep it online for future reference. after all, it is a form self reflection....
warning- really really long post......
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stucked in the indonesia embassy. Feeling extremely bored. Couldn't find any newspaper, and there's no Digi man in the waiting area, so i cant talk to people over the phone. But oh well, not many ppl can talk to me at 10am, can they?I guess this is one of the few occasion that i actually feel grateful about having this window mobile...no one to talk to? Fear not! Talk to yourself!
Hasnt been really talking to myself for a while now. Occasionally i did question myself on several issues, but i guess that is more of a talking than communicating.So what should i talk to myself? Had enough career stuff, let's talk something light....hm...how's family? Well, dad is still the same,forgetten half, n remember the rest. Not sure when he picked up the habit of mopping the floor, washing the car, and flipping over the hanging cloths whenever he is home, but he is doing it on a daily basis. Its not that mum or maid not doing it, but he just has to do it again. Scolded him in many occasions, but he still doing it. Now i am accepting it as a norm, but deep down kinda worry that these are parts of the syndrome for alzheimer's disease.Spent some money on checking it, but nothing seems to be wrong. But like my friend said, since there is virtually nothing you can do even u r sure about the disease, what is actually the purpose of knowing it? I ponder on this question for several nights.
How about mum? Mum is all right, definitely enjoying her life much more compared to year before. Its been lousy for past few years,but things are going the good way. She is having this group of dancing friend that she can hang out in mamak until wee hour. This is very encouraging for a later past 50 years old. At least she is having a good social life. But having said that, i know she has her own issue as well. She need to deal with dad that is always forgetful, n hotter temper compared to few years back. And seeing my dad doing domestic works always getting into her nerves. And she is definitely getting more white hairs. She never mentioned it, but lately i do realized mum n dad is actually always manage the money in a way that is just enough to cover. She never ask money from us, or letting us know how it is actually, but they just capable of going through all kind of ups and down. If not because they brought it over casually, i wouldnt know that the reason that she always cooked stingray during form 1 was because that is the only type of meat she could afford. And i always thought it was because dad like it.
I am so grateful that i was never a big spender, i dont even own a single magazine/toy/comics after i was 10. The funny thing is, parents never stop me from buying all this, as much as it might actually became a burden to them. So with such blessing in disguise, i was surprisingly brought up without any financial issues in my head (although its like THE problem all the time to my parent)Nowadays the biggest headache for my mum is to how to estimate dinner as my sister and i tend to have dinner with friend in ad hoc basis. Thanks to all the chinese drama and a little bit of own experience, i understand such frustration better, and not seeing it as a small issue compare to work issue anymore...after all, for mum, domestic issue is equivalent to our work's issue, and who has the right to say it is less important compare to works?so nowadays i always mentioned in advance, n hopefully she will feel better in such way.Then by far i guess i am her biggest problem at the moment. She always worried that i have not enough money, (which sometimes is true),or not saving enough for future.
Well, me being single is beginning to worry her as well. Sigh...all i can said is, this 2 issue is very much related. Once things going the right way, i will try to engage in relationship and keep her from worrying things. After all, it is kinda humiliating to be worried over this issue, like i am incapable of attracting the fairer sex.My 3 sisters? Each of them have their own issues,but they are having their own kind of happiness as well. I would dare said they will not trade anything for current life at all. Well, most of the issues are money related, and if money is the only issues, it will not be an issue eventually. I have faith in them, n having a small faith in myself that i will make it and ease any money related issue.Me? I would said that i am equiping myself with lots of stuff. Like a soldier that has been training in a virtual war. Still waiting for the commander to call upon into real war, and not sure if what i learn is useful in real war.I have been telling myself i am still young, so just take things slowly and learning should be the priority. But at the same time, i am worried that my parent cant wait. What if alzheimer kick in? This is always the torn inside me that poking me occasionally. I dont mind failing and start from zero, but can my parent handle it?Well, dont think i will start from zero. Doubt tat i will compromise till that degree.
i am sincerely believing that if i wan a sales job, i can grant it in a month time, but i will probably be a very unhappy man. There is just so many things i wan to give it a shot, so much so that i am reluctant to repeat whatever i have done. Silly may it sound, but i seek excitement in life above many things. And yet it is only applicable to certain issue only. Relationship wise, i am rather loyal, and wants nothing more than a simple love. A simple happiness, like a walk in the park, cooking dinner for each other,or a kiss on forehead everyday when i wake up is good enough for me. I hates complication, so i tend to keep things simple, but it never do. Just realized i have an issue of deciding. But once i made the decision, i take the action wayyy to fast that i ignore the changes occur that maybe i should not be making a decision at all. So if someone ask why i do that, the honest answer would have been i am not too sure, i was just following what i had decided not so long ago, but cant remember how i come out with that decision.
Phew....this is such a long wait, i am beginning to run out of things to write. 26 more to go, i hope....the number is just jumping around in a manner that perhaps only the staff understand.Okey, writer's block....lets talk about the embassy. Seriously, this is definitely a busy embassy. Not often you would see 25 counters that are working all at once. Or maybe, i am just too use to seeing empty counter in government agency that i find it impressive about something that it should have been. Just like any agency, they have the issue of smiling.
Seriously, it's not that costly to smile right....the security of the embassy is really loose i think, but i guess if you dont do so, you will have thousand of people queuing on the main tun razak road, which is definitely disastrous. Or perhaps, its only loose in the public section. Actual side may be rather strict. But then again, its indonesia embassy, doubt anyone would throw something into them. One thing really good about the embassy is that they actually provide free photo shooting and free photocopy, and they are charging their passport for rm18 only. We malaysian pay freaking rm300 and yet we dont even have all these services! Seriously, our passport is way to overprice. And 2 days ago they actually proudly saying that they have upgraded the security and not charging extra on public because they are understanding of current economy.
Ofcoz you wouldnt, because it has been overprice all this while. Increasing the fees to rm300 was only a temporary measurement during asia economic crisis as a method of discouraging people from going oversea. And now it became a form of steady income for the government. All this can be done without furore is because it is passed in the parliment like any other funny regulations. What to do, it will never have any objection, or else diciplinary action can be taken. Thank god things are changing,well, slowly, but definitely changing. I know a lot of people are frustrated with current condition and rather not have any change. But people, think long term! It is extremely important for us to continue to bite on the bitter path, and keep pushing forward. It may take a while to remove the huge rock, but just keep pushing, the day of pushing over the rock is near!
I am tired....sleepy....tired.....sleepy
Down
DJ: Ms Sabrina, who do you want to dedicate the next song to?
Sabrina: i wanna dedicate the next song to all my course mate, wishing them all the best for the exam in the later afternoon.
DJ: okey, here's the song for Sabrina and her course mate, Jay Sean - "down"
*music roll in*
"Baby are you DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN~~"
i was literally cracking after hearing this...Come on DJ, are you sure you about your songs selection?
Sabrina: i wanna dedicate the next song to all my course mate, wishing them all the best for the exam in the later afternoon.
DJ: okey, here's the song for Sabrina and her course mate, Jay Sean - "down"
*music roll in*
"Baby are you DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN~~"
i was literally cracking after hearing this...Come on DJ, are you sure you about your songs selection?
its not that simple
没那麼简单 就能找到 聊得来的伴
its not that simple, to find a partner that can talk to
尤其是在 看过了那麼多的背叛
especially,after seeing all these betrayals
总是不安 只好强悍
always insecure, has to toughen up
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
who killed all my romance
没那麼简单 就能去爱 别的全不看
its not that simple, to love, without seeing anything else
变得实际 也许好也许坏各一半
being realistic, perhaps is half good, half bad.
不爱孤单 一久也习惯
dont like to be alone, but its been long enough to get use to
不用担心谁 也不用被谁管
not worrying anyone, and not being controlled.
感觉快乐就忙东忙西
busy myself when i am feeling happy
感觉累了就放空自己
do nothing when i am tired
别人说的话 随便听一听 自己作决定
whatever others said, just listen, and decide myself
不想拥有太多情绪
do not wish to own too much emotion
一杯红酒配電影
a glass of wine plus a movie
在周末晚上 关上了
over the weekend night, shut off
手机 舒服窝在沙发裡
handphone, lying on the sofa comfortably
相爱没有那麼容易 每个人有他的脾气
love is not that simple, everyone has their own temper
过了爱作梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
past the age of dreaming, a simple relationship is better off than a crazy love
幸福没有那麼容易 才会特别让人著迷
happiness is not that simple, hence its so mesmerizing
什麼都不懂的年纪
at the age of knowing nothing
曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经
used to whole-heartedly love someone, hence the happiest. used to.
想念最伤心 但却最动心 的记忆
missing someone hurts the most, and yet its the most touching memory.
yes, perhaps we can
As much as i am willing to believe that our beloved PM truly inspire to change the whole political scene, there's still this massive torn in my hearts (n perhaps many malaysian's heart) that making to doubt the success of GTP or 1Malaysia.
I grew up with lots of friends irregardless of races, as long we can understand each other. And everything seems to be fine until when i was form 4, the adults begin to tell me about sekolah asrama and the blah blah blah, or get some final exam paper from sekolah asrama because their questions would be very close to actual examination. Then i start to realize discrepancies among treatment we received. The scholarship stories then got really loud from my years onwards. The older i get, the more stories i heard that i begin to doubt the country that i once i know of, the one that i was taught during primary school.
after away from the education system for good few years, i know very well, education system, is the core of the current situation. Biro tetangga is a well known issue, and to my surprise, the reformist actually failed to convince the conservatives to eradicated it. Instead, 1malaysia concept is implemented into. And seriously, would the lecturers that have been organizing the program in their way will listen to what it is being suggested?
Then follow by the local university election. It is just disgusting to see how the guard, the school administrator controlling the scene like the final judge. No matter what reason it is, it is just wrong for school administrator to even bud into school election that is suppose to be student's representative. Its just plain ridiculous to know the student representatives need to decide which side they are on for the election. ITS STUDENTS' REPRESENTATIVE FOR GOODNESS SAKE.....as the name it is suggested, should be elected by the students and for the students.
the tipping point of my disappointment towards the reform program is definitely the media control by the current government. To make things worse, some people get arrested by writing nonsense over the internet, but some people can just accuse people as they wish, front page! it is angry enough to know they are protected by the invisible shield, and no, they have to tell us that, hey, i am so safe that i even call myself awang selamat!
it is the triumph of the conservatives so far, and as much as i want to optimistic, i am not seeing any sign of them going down. The youth group that is once well known for extremity, is surprisingly open minded since the special one took the seat, but the supporters are not happy about it judging from the news.
i am not asking so much, let's just start by giving up the special rights in media coverage, and yes, perhaps we can.
I grew up with lots of friends irregardless of races, as long we can understand each other. And everything seems to be fine until when i was form 4, the adults begin to tell me about sekolah asrama and the blah blah blah, or get some final exam paper from sekolah asrama because their questions would be very close to actual examination. Then i start to realize discrepancies among treatment we received. The scholarship stories then got really loud from my years onwards. The older i get, the more stories i heard that i begin to doubt the country that i once i know of, the one that i was taught during primary school.
after away from the education system for good few years, i know very well, education system, is the core of the current situation. Biro tetangga is a well known issue, and to my surprise, the reformist actually failed to convince the conservatives to eradicated it. Instead, 1malaysia concept is implemented into. And seriously, would the lecturers that have been organizing the program in their way will listen to what it is being suggested?
Then follow by the local university election. It is just disgusting to see how the guard, the school administrator controlling the scene like the final judge. No matter what reason it is, it is just wrong for school administrator to even bud into school election that is suppose to be student's representative. Its just plain ridiculous to know the student representatives need to decide which side they are on for the election. ITS STUDENTS' REPRESENTATIVE FOR GOODNESS SAKE.....as the name it is suggested, should be elected by the students and for the students.
the tipping point of my disappointment towards the reform program is definitely the media control by the current government. To make things worse, some people get arrested by writing nonsense over the internet, but some people can just accuse people as they wish, front page! it is angry enough to know they are protected by the invisible shield, and no, they have to tell us that, hey, i am so safe that i even call myself awang selamat!
it is the triumph of the conservatives so far, and as much as i want to optimistic, i am not seeing any sign of them going down. The youth group that is once well known for extremity, is surprisingly open minded since the special one took the seat, but the supporters are not happy about it judging from the news.
i am not asking so much, let's just start by giving up the special rights in media coverage, and yes, perhaps we can.
is honesty really the best policy?
i am quite an honest person, well...no one ever tell me that, but that's how i would rate myself as. I dont cheat on girl, i dont do backstabbing (always do it in his/her face,ha~)
well, i felt kinda gutted for being honest today. Did an online assessment test, something like a talent assessment for this trainee program. Since its a personality test, and i have always been a team player, so i dont see any wrong of answering the question base on how i feel irregardless it will reflect good or bad side of me. I was quite confident about this because i dont think ANYONE will actually kick out candidate base on personality, and even if they do so, why would they do that to someone that is a team player according to test?
and guess what, i DIDNT PASS THE TEST~ just because i am being honest, just because i tend to choose answer that showing i am more of the top percentile group instead of the top leaders, just because i am more of a good follower in the group instead of the leader, they failed me!!
So i should cheat my way to get through the test? or maybe lying is a sign that you are competitive (thus can be a leader), so you deserve to be in the next round?
it is either that i am really not suitable for this program, or this personality test is really a stupid criteria to have.
still thinking how should i answer this type of test if it happen again ---to be or not to be, that is the question......
well, i felt kinda gutted for being honest today. Did an online assessment test, something like a talent assessment for this trainee program. Since its a personality test, and i have always been a team player, so i dont see any wrong of answering the question base on how i feel irregardless it will reflect good or bad side of me. I was quite confident about this because i dont think ANYONE will actually kick out candidate base on personality, and even if they do so, why would they do that to someone that is a team player according to test?
and guess what, i DIDNT PASS THE TEST~ just because i am being honest, just because i tend to choose answer that showing i am more of the top percentile group instead of the top leaders, just because i am more of a good follower in the group instead of the leader, they failed me!!
So i should cheat my way to get through the test? or maybe lying is a sign that you are competitive (thus can be a leader), so you deserve to be in the next round?
it is either that i am really not suitable for this program, or this personality test is really a stupid criteria to have.
still thinking how should i answer this type of test if it happen again ---to be or not to be, that is the question......
Me 3.0
most people that i know of takes many years of mistake become they come to realize what we want in life. its funny how we capable to learn more through the painful way. It the logic stay right, the younger generation are way more rebellious than we were are due to the fact that they have undergo way too little painful experience. In fact, most parent will sue the teacher when the children got canned nowadays, compared to the good old days. I will never let my father know that i got canned, because i would definitely got beaten for the second time as he believe i must have done something wrong to deserve it. But, i do think the younger generation are more creative as they live in a more open environment, or perhaps its just a form of Darwin's survivor theory.
had a rather intellectual conversation with this good friend of mine that is like milesss away. Well, its actually through facebook message, so dont think it should be call a conversation. But there are words that really lighten my heart a lot. she understand me in many ways naturally, and we are equally care free, so i guess that's what make us good friend.
i was telling her that i am lacking some reason or motivation, hence i am considering moving on. She replied saying that i dont need any motivation, because an unmotivated person is someone that will stay there as it is and feeling numb about everything. In a way she actually pointed out many doubts of mine, i dunno why, it just give me some assurance to make a decision.
yes indeed i am ready to gear up for yet another phase. I did doubt myself that how can i not even try hard enough in 2.0 before i move up to another version? but now i kinda understand, me 2.0 is like window vista, its really crap, so its ok to be laugh at, its ok to be short, just toughen up and shift the gear.
today heard a news about these awards that would have been mine go to my colleague. I am really happy for her as she did put so much effort into it, but still feeling a bit painful to know how much have i let go in the process of searching myself. I will take it all back, or maybe by then, it doesnt matter anymore....
had a rather intellectual conversation with this good friend of mine that is like milesss away. Well, its actually through facebook message, so dont think it should be call a conversation. But there are words that really lighten my heart a lot. she understand me in many ways naturally, and we are equally care free, so i guess that's what make us good friend.
i was telling her that i am lacking some reason or motivation, hence i am considering moving on. She replied saying that i dont need any motivation, because an unmotivated person is someone that will stay there as it is and feeling numb about everything. In a way she actually pointed out many doubts of mine, i dunno why, it just give me some assurance to make a decision.
yes indeed i am ready to gear up for yet another phase. I did doubt myself that how can i not even try hard enough in 2.0 before i move up to another version? but now i kinda understand, me 2.0 is like window vista, its really crap, so its ok to be laugh at, its ok to be short, just toughen up and shift the gear.
today heard a news about these awards that would have been mine go to my colleague. I am really happy for her as she did put so much effort into it, but still feeling a bit painful to know how much have i let go in the process of searching myself. I will take it all back, or maybe by then, it doesnt matter anymore....
year 2010
ok, this is kinda late, but it all thanks to 2 weeks of crazy lifestyle i had with my friend from NZ. the only 3 things that i have done for the past 3 weeks were probably drink, dance, drive, and doze off. oh wait, that's 4 things.
so after almost month long of celebration, its time to face the year ahead. I cant help but to fear for the coming 300 more days ahead. For the past 4 months, all i did was to do the groundwork for the coming year 2010.
The year has arrived, and many things are actually ready to run. I cant help myself but keep asking myself, what if i fail....i know, for the first time, this is the year that define myself...like my country, year 2010, is the year of 'reckoning'. this year, is the year that i proved to myself that i am right to make all this decision. So many people has gave me the strength, and the person that doubt the most is actually myself. I need to discover my reason to believe in it, the reason to move on, the reason to have no regret.
so year 2010, again, will be more or less similar to year 2009 as i am far from achieving it.
1. read at least 30min of books before going to bed - i think its time to rediscover my love for books. starting to feel myself mentally empty with low creativity, definitely has much to do with the avoidance of reading for past whole year.
2. exercise the 10min workout set taught by Siva every morning to start the day with some sweat.
3. 1 day of random new skill (at the moment is hip hop), 1 day of badminton or squash, 3 days of gym per week - i realized i do care about my appearance much more than i perceived. Being active in sports has the benefit of strong will power, and better body shape that definitely boost up my self-esteem that is currently hovering at all time low
4. raise my yearly income to above RM60,000 once again, which translate to RM5000 a month - seriously, i am not so much of a money minded person. But i realized,as a young adult, you need to love money to a certain degree or else you will be lacking the desire to strive for your career. So i need to love more on seeing big figure in my bank account and dream of giving the best to my family.
5. go for a spontaneous trip with friend - being spontaneous has always been part of my life, so i definitely want to continue keeping that in mind.
6.schedule work and play time in the right ratio - being a self-employed making myself spending lots of time doing nothing, and this is definitely and must do thing for this year!
7. complete my CFP, and keep the option of challenging CIFP in mind - unless i failed, or else this shouldnt be an issued. 5 years goals - established certain reputation that is sensible enough to take up CFA
8. make profit from the trading progam - i have spent so much in it, and i know this will either be my biggest let down, or biggest surprise for the year, so i put you in lucky no. 8.
9. purchase a ~RM120,000 car in december - was thinking of owning a house, but reckon the probability is rather low, so might as well not writing it down.
10. donate money for charity - i will keep this in my mind for sure this year (friends that are claiming themselve to be charitable are excluded since its is quite an obvious lie)
11. spend time writing down journal /story at least 4 times a week - travel log has to be updated to current year or else it is becoming pointless soon. and talking to myself do help me in many ways. As such, i wan to discipline to continue doing so.
12. forget the past, and move on in terms of relationship, take things slowly - i have been living in the shadow for long enough, and for the first time, i felt more prepared than ever to move on. Not going to be desperate or the i dont care attitude.but if the right one appear, will not hesitate as it use to be, anymore.
13. the most important of all, find the reasons to achieve all this. with nothing to inspire on, all this will just plain talk.
wish me luck
so after almost month long of celebration, its time to face the year ahead. I cant help but to fear for the coming 300 more days ahead. For the past 4 months, all i did was to do the groundwork for the coming year 2010.
The year has arrived, and many things are actually ready to run. I cant help myself but keep asking myself, what if i fail....i know, for the first time, this is the year that define myself...like my country, year 2010, is the year of 'reckoning'. this year, is the year that i proved to myself that i am right to make all this decision. So many people has gave me the strength, and the person that doubt the most is actually myself. I need to discover my reason to believe in it, the reason to move on, the reason to have no regret.
so year 2010, again, will be more or less similar to year 2009 as i am far from achieving it.
1. read at least 30min of books before going to bed - i think its time to rediscover my love for books. starting to feel myself mentally empty with low creativity, definitely has much to do with the avoidance of reading for past whole year.
2. exercise the 10min workout set taught by Siva every morning to start the day with some sweat.
3. 1 day of random new skill (at the moment is hip hop), 1 day of badminton or squash, 3 days of gym per week - i realized i do care about my appearance much more than i perceived. Being active in sports has the benefit of strong will power, and better body shape that definitely boost up my self-esteem that is currently hovering at all time low
4. raise my yearly income to above RM60,000 once again, which translate to RM5000 a month - seriously, i am not so much of a money minded person. But i realized,as a young adult, you need to love money to a certain degree or else you will be lacking the desire to strive for your career. So i need to love more on seeing big figure in my bank account and dream of giving the best to my family.
5. go for a spontaneous trip with friend - being spontaneous has always been part of my life, so i definitely want to continue keeping that in mind.
6.schedule work and play time in the right ratio - being a self-employed making myself spending lots of time doing nothing, and this is definitely and must do thing for this year!
7. complete my CFP, and keep the option of challenging CIFP in mind - unless i failed, or else this shouldnt be an issued. 5 years goals - established certain reputation that is sensible enough to take up CFA
8. make profit from the trading progam - i have spent so much in it, and i know this will either be my biggest let down, or biggest surprise for the year, so i put you in lucky no. 8.
9. purchase a ~RM120,000 car in december - was thinking of owning a house, but reckon the probability is rather low, so might as well not writing it down.
10. donate money for charity - i will keep this in my mind for sure this year (friends that are claiming themselve to be charitable are excluded since its is quite an obvious lie)
11. spend time writing down journal /story at least 4 times a week - travel log has to be updated to current year or else it is becoming pointless soon. and talking to myself do help me in many ways. As such, i wan to discipline to continue doing so.
12. forget the past, and move on in terms of relationship, take things slowly - i have been living in the shadow for long enough, and for the first time, i felt more prepared than ever to move on. Not going to be desperate or the i dont care attitude.but if the right one appear, will not hesitate as it use to be, anymore.
13. the most important of all, find the reasons to achieve all this. with nothing to inspire on, all this will just plain talk.
wish me luck
review of 09 resolution...
so here's the big boasted promised that i made in early 2008, n how i failed most of it,ha...
1. Maintain my total gross income, with 20% goes to 'cannot be touched fund' and 15% goes to investment.
-fail, gross income drop, n no saving in whatsoever, but that's due to change of game plan along t way,so no complain...
2. complete my travel blog (god, please give me strength on this~)
2. complete my travel blog (god, please give me strength on this~)
-well, i did complete year 2006, so maybe a B- for this,haha
3. At least complete the 2 stories that have be swimming in my dream for the past year (maybe this one i need strength from angels~)- fail big times....in fact thinking of not writing the story, got some other story in mind instead (hey, this sound bad)
4. increase my frequency of exercise/gym to 4 days/week-only to probably 2 times a week, so FAIL~
5. complete a professional papers and an investment program-didnt complete, but definitely doing it at the fastest track i can find, so one big TICK~
6. continue trying new games. doing acrobatic stunk with airplane would be a good start :)- quite hard to fail this i guess, its fun stuff anyway, so ya, i did rock climbing :)
7. travel to any random place without prior planning (although high chances this will tarnish my resolution no.1)- i ended up did 2, 1 in langkawi alone for a very good relaxing beach side holiday, another 1 is just ended bali trip that can only explained by t word crazy, so BIG TICK
8. learn how to use my camera-well, its almost broken now, so this resolution is pointless now
9. have a solid plan on financing towards a very own SOHO unit.- pathway is definitely clearer now, but no solid plan is formed, fail....
10. if cant help physically, at least donate money to charity.- feel so shameful for not achieving this...
11. Concentrate my focus on my decided career path.- in certain way, yes it is...
12. erm.....getting a gf...
-why did i put it there to embarrassed myself for again? hm...just to make myself feel better, met lots of interesting ladies throughout the year, but so far, i am content to have all of them as friend (a very nice way to say that i am still single,haha...)
so, i guess i total i score about 4 out of 11 ~35% achieved....this is definitely lower than the previous year.....so you would say its not such a good year to me, n definitely there is lots of confusion invovle throughout the year, but yeah...its time to move on, n talk about 2010 resolution~~~
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