road less taken

After living in this world for 24 years, with 5 years of dunno what's going on, and probably another 15 years of knowing-what's-going-on but-who-cares life, i think i may have problem pointing out if i have done anything right.

since secondary school, i would join anything that i felt is cool or right, then took up some supporting role that make myself/ppl that i'm kinda important but as a matter of fact didnt exactly do much. Even when i was asked to choose a post i am interested in the kelab during secondary school, i chose Vice President with no hesitation. I told them that i may not be a good leader, but i am definitely a good supporter. Come to think of it, i am just a person that kinda afraid of taking up responsibility and yet wish to be standing next to the limelight.

not aggresive, supportive, and perhaps a little bit of positive behaviour (thanks to all the excellent people that i fortunate enough to stand next to), i do have a good number of friends. To be more specific, a good number of people that know me do see me as a friend that is worthy enough to come out for a drink or continue keeping in touch with.

Obviously from time to time i also feel a bit lonely as no one look for me or no one for me to look for. But after comparing with most working class, i'm actually keeping in touch with a lot of people already. And the diverse background of these people really amazed me every now and then.

here's the reason i am writing all this nonsense. In a week time, i met 2 senior seperately. Both are at late 20's, and both chosen totally different pathway. One man is earning god knows how many zero at the back in a year, while another one is earning lesser than the minimum amount required before you are being taxed. Interestingly enough, one cried in front of me while another person have the most jovial, care free charisma that i have ever encounter in life. One man wonder when he can be as rich as his friends while another wonder when he can get work permit to work for charity association.

my mind was so messed up by this 2 person, and i am beginning to ask myself:

what is my personal aspiration?