Shifted

Same house, but different room.

Actually, i'm kind of use to shifting, be it room or house. Interesting thing is, regardless how much i have thrown each time, there is still plenty more of rubbish that i need to discard away during the next shifting. In theory i am an environmentalist, and i despise anyone that litter. however, in reality, i am just a net rubbish producer like anyone else.

Suddenly this picture came into my mind:

The unfortunate group from Philippine that stayed and work at garbage side.

guiltiness filling up my mind fast...and gone.

wonder if i would have sleeping problem tonight.

complicating the simplicity

Just realized how annoying it is to read a blog that has absolute no relation to the title. Yes, i do it all the time too.

Not knowing who you are or only got to know who you are through others; i wonder which is more pathetic.

A cut above

After saying no to a number of invitation for countdown celebration, i kind of regret it. Its not because i want to party, but its more of the fact that i want to runaway from the surprise party that my family is hosting...

At the end of the day, i choose to stay in room and bear with the noise, because i think it is still far more bearable compared to the traffic jam. I had a feel of how bad it can be last year, so i've learn that i should either planned early, be there early, or just stay put at home.

The thing is, as the clock is ticking towards 2009, i had a stomach upset. Without thinking much,i went straight to the loo. Just as i want to blast up Japan, i heard fireworks starting to blast the sky.

Happy new year. I told myself, sitting on the toilet bowl, listening to the echoes of fireworks from far.

bandwagon '08

About few months back i saw my friend did a three-quarter review of her 2008 resolution. I sort of look back what i wrote a year ago. impressively, i actually achieved 6/10 for my resolution. In terms of university level, i actually passed the test~~

its actually a happy thing to see urself achieving something u aimed for, especially when its kinda tough to reach it... Obviously there is more can be done to achieve another 4 goals, but hey, i have been living quite a lay back life for the past 20 over years, so i will not be harsh on myself for this.

After writing few appraisal in the hope of receiving miserable pay increment, i have learn that in many ways, its all about percentage. And since i am my own boss, so i shall do my resolution with the percentage game.

1. Maintain my total gross income, with 20% goes to 'cannot be touched fund' and 15% goes to investment.
2. complete my travel blog (god, please give me strength on this~)
3. At least complete the 2 stories that have be swimming in my dream for the past year (maybe this one i need strength from angels~)
4. increase my frequency of exercise/gym to 4 days/week
5. complete a professional papers and an investment program
6. continue trying new games. doing acrobatic stunk with airplane would be a good start :)
7. travel to any random place without prior planning (although high chances this will tarnish my resolution no.1)
8. learn how to use my camera
9. have a solid plan on financing towards a very own SOHO unit.
10. if cant help physically, at least donate money to charity.
11. Concentrate my focus on my decided career path.

last but not least, dont really want to put in into my resolution list, but i think its something i should do. Shy to admit, but i think i should be serious about getting a girl and think about forming a family in few years time. I know its something very much dependent on fate and luck, but having mental preparation for things to happen shouldn't be that bad right? Not saying that i will go out hunting like a warewolf-lah, just spent a bit more time on people that i feel comfortable with.

After all, i do scared that my aunt really bring my cousin and i for match-making..hm....that maybe can be my no.12 resolution.....

young

Attended F.I.R concert yesterday. Obviously i went because i got free ticket and free transportation. I cant even hum out a single song from the band.

so ya, unsurprisingly, my friend and i only recognized about 3 songs that sang by them, and we spend most time looking at a fan that is wearing working attired which got so passionate about the concert that he non-stop waving his fist on the air.

Maybe we would be more excited if we got better sitting or standing instead of stay seated, but ya, we were pretty much sitting there,watching the whole place go havoc. Nevertheless, we were happy, because we did something different. At the end of the day, we come out with a quote that fits our feeling rather well.

i did something young, just to realize i'm not exactly that young.

apple

being the single soul living in this big house again for the past whole week, and will continue do so for another week. Be it an excuse or not, i've been spending less than 8 hours a day in the house for the past 4 days, and that already included my 6 hours sleeping time. Inevitably, i have not had a proper meal for whole week already.

its nothing big for most of the KL people as most people are not as lucky as me who got hot dinner when i got home every night. But for people like me who has been so indulge in the luxurious of having mum at home, it is definitely something abnormal and it does brought some thought into my mind regarding family.

nevertheless, i lived well alone. After all, i do have all the skills to survive in this city alone. and i do enjoy something i dont do when i'm not alone in the house. Drinking party in my house on weekday is definitely something nostalgic to me, n i got to do it last week.

today had a long working day, got home about 12am. Get into the house, throw in all the working bags on the floor, head off to the room. Then like i turn on auto-mode, i took off my formal attire, and turn on my CD player to the Norah Jones CD (that i am a little bit bored of but i am too lasy to change the CD).Then subconsciouly, i walked to my mini-bar, poured out Bicardi Apple, added ice and sprite into the fat glass cup. I sat on my favourite inclined chairs, sipping the alcohol, close my eye and enjoy the moment of the sweet taste alcohol warming up my chest.

relax-nya, that's what is in my mind now......

Letters

thanks to the two notorious second-cousin of mine that are currently habitat-ing my former room, my mum poured out all my letters from the all-in-messed drawer into a plastic bag and asked me to throw it all away.

i argued with her that this is my memory, then she asked me when was the last time i looked into all this so call memory. I couldnt answer. 5 years ago? 8 years? As a matter of fact i am just assuring myself that my memory is lying there, but i never bother looking or preserving it in the right way. so i just told her to leave the bag of letter there and i will take care of it.

pouring out all the letter onto the floor, i am quite amazed with the amount of letters i have. But i am quite sure the amount of letters are not complete. Some been slightly torned, some have shown yellow spots on the written paper. There's greeting cards, letter written to myself, but most of all are letters written by my pen-pal as well as acquantance that i got to know in those 4 dyas 3 night camp that i was quite actively involved with at one point.

Reading pen-pal letters turn out to be quite a emotional driven task. I am so surprised that i have at least 7 pen-pals when i was in secondary school and among all of them, i can only vaguely remember 2. Reason being this 2 person is because they are my first 2 pen-pal, therefore i have replied them the highest amount of time. And the rest of the pen-pals i actually have no memory of reading their letter. So i am guessing that i was the one did not reply the letter and causing all these sad ending of the very first version of virtual-friendship.

Upon finished reading i have quite strong urge to tear up some paper and start writing letter back to all of them, telling them sorry for the waiting, the longest was in fact 10 years already. But in reality i do know quite well the chances of getting them back into contact is quite unlikely. Oh well, let's just see which 1 fine day i will actually reply, somehting i am perceiving it as a silly thing to do so.

something interesting was found among those letter as well. For example, at the age of 14, i actually wrote down something like this "I will help Malaysia to become a developed country. Please do not say that i cant do it, it's just the matter of i want to do it or not" Never knew that my patrotism started at such a young age.

then i also saw a letter written by the happening dr. She wrote something about i must inform her a year in advance if i ever get married with JL in NZ so that she will have the money to fly down to NZ and attend the wedding. I really had a good laugh after reading it....dear Dr, allow me to do something i've not done for very long.....

i'm speechless (showing 3 fingers to you)

---damn,i can so imagine the facial expression of the happening Doc and the not so happening JL doing this to me.

take 1, camera~

I bought a camera 3 months ago, but never really got the chance to use it. Its not because of lacking of worth while event, most of the time is due to the fact that i am too use to the life of getting thumb drive from other cameraman and i just cant remember to bring my camera to any event. Furthermore, i have yet to master the camera.

As i was looking at the waterfall pictures, satisfied with my learning process of how to snap a waterfall to my liking, i saw this picture laying there.

i've almost forgotten to dedicate this first ever picture taken by this camera to you. My bad my dear friend.Nice teeth you got here :)

Dont worry, nobody would know your height from this picture, so i'm sure nobody can recognize you :)

Cry me a waterfall

Like most people, i do like waterfall, but was never a fanatic. Went to a waterfall for the 2nd time in half a year time. It doesn't sounds like a lot of time, but knowing the fact that i only been to any waterfall less than 10 times in 24 years, this is pretty frequent.

Like the previous round, i got bitten by leeches. Luckily, non of them got my crucial part like what they did the last round. 11 bitten marks, injured knee and elbow, and sunburn-shoulder is what i got this round of 2 days 1 night waterfall expenditure.

shy to admit that this is actually the first time i ever sleep in a tent inside deep jungle. I seriously cant remember if i was really that hardworking that i have no time to join any scout, St john or Kadet Remaja. But ya, i did not join any of those kind and had not been camping over spooky forest before.

Luckily, i went with veterans that make setting up tent, cooking, and setting up fire as effortless as farting. So i had like a feast in the middle of nowhere, and start to wonder if i actually joint a weight-gain camp.

The waterfall was great, and the absence of other mankind make it even greater. After all, not many people willing to walk through the jungle and hills for 3 hours just to play in the waterfall when you can have it anytime in Sunway Lagoon.

the sound of pouring waterfall is seriously refreshing, especially when you rest on a hammock, slowly swing yourself, and close your eyes and relax. When you rest enough, open up your eye, and you'll see the beautiful waterfall continue handsomely stood in front of you and greet you with the splashing water sound.

many people seek traveling as a form of rejuvenation, but seriously, you can easily do it within KL. For some reason, i've been appreciating Malaysia particularly Klang Valley much more than a year ago when i just got back from the 'pure' land. To be exact, i've never love more than what i am feeling right now towards this land in my whole humble life.

I'm a man, I'm a soul. I've got lots of place to go, but i do know, this is the place that i want to grow old.

This is my home.

you've got mail

today when i open up m y facebook homepage, i was surprised to find a small little '5' written in superscript next to the 'inbox' button. I was happy. After reading the message, i happily reply to the correspondent, and then i calm down and ask myself, hey, arent this feeling nostalgic?

I used to have 3 pen-pal at the same time. I'm still keep some of their letters, but most of it had been scribbled and thrown away by my second cousin ( who is currently taking up my old room and happily take out all the letters, stamp and photos inside my drawer. oh no...dont remind me about my precious stamp...)

Here's the thing, during that time, i actually received real letter. No e, just mail. Although one of the guy handwriting is ugly enough to beat me, but i still enjoy reading it. I can feel their handwriting, feel the uneven surface of the letter as a result of writing, coffee and water marks that left down by them, and most of all, the fragrance from the letter and ink (obviously another 2 pen-pals are female, i may be young, but i still know i preference).

The letter is so alive that quite often i will start imagining how he or she looks like when they were writing it. during that time, house's letterbox is the first place i rush to whenever i got home from school. If i did receive a letter, i will rush to my room, turn on my air-con, and start reading it on my bed. After reading it, i will start blaming the letter for so short (although sometime it was like 3 pages long in A4 size)

then i will start thinking what to reply while i was eating lunch. After shower i will then start writing down and send the letter out on the next day. Then i will start the routine again of checking the letter box. The moment of receiving letter is really great, and the waiting period make it greater. As much as i know that it would at least take 6 days for a reply letter to send back to me, but i still anticipate it to arrive on the 2nd days and not feeling disappointed if it did not happen

For some reason, all these delay actually make lots of thing more beautiful than it is. i am far more excited to receive mail than email. I am missing someone in oversea more than another one that i know i can catch them in MSN anytime. i have more dreams on Tibet and Mongolia than Paris that can be found in any webpage or even movies.

sending and receiving email is so easy that it lost the beauty of delay. What's worse than that is that you know email only have 5 second delay, and the only explanation that no reply was given is because the recipient is not replying. the waiting of reply would be painful instead. and the prompt reply is not exciting because it is suppose to be that way.

nevertheless, thanks to the laziness, prompt reply still surprise and make some people happy, because you are one of the rare species that actually bother reply upon finish reading...

although i dont believe in horoscope, and i am beg to defer about how Pisces are romantic people, i am a person that don't mind writing love letter to the special one. Some girl might fall for it, but for my case, i'm just enjoying the anticipation of receiving a smiley letter in return.

road less taken

After living in this world for 24 years, with 5 years of dunno what's going on, and probably another 15 years of knowing-what's-going-on but-who-cares life, i think i may have problem pointing out if i have done anything right.

since secondary school, i would join anything that i felt is cool or right, then took up some supporting role that make myself/ppl that i'm kinda important but as a matter of fact didnt exactly do much. Even when i was asked to choose a post i am interested in the kelab during secondary school, i chose Vice President with no hesitation. I told them that i may not be a good leader, but i am definitely a good supporter. Come to think of it, i am just a person that kinda afraid of taking up responsibility and yet wish to be standing next to the limelight.

not aggresive, supportive, and perhaps a little bit of positive behaviour (thanks to all the excellent people that i fortunate enough to stand next to), i do have a good number of friends. To be more specific, a good number of people that know me do see me as a friend that is worthy enough to come out for a drink or continue keeping in touch with.

Obviously from time to time i also feel a bit lonely as no one look for me or no one for me to look for. But after comparing with most working class, i'm actually keeping in touch with a lot of people already. And the diverse background of these people really amazed me every now and then.

here's the reason i am writing all this nonsense. In a week time, i met 2 senior seperately. Both are at late 20's, and both chosen totally different pathway. One man is earning god knows how many zero at the back in a year, while another one is earning lesser than the minimum amount required before you are being taxed. Interestingly enough, one cried in front of me while another person have the most jovial, care free charisma that i have ever encounter in life. One man wonder when he can be as rich as his friends while another wonder when he can get work permit to work for charity association.

my mind was so messed up by this 2 person, and i am beginning to ask myself:

what is my personal aspiration?

Memory

As i was in the toilet, trying hard to return nutrient back to the mother earth, i saw the vague scar on my palm. Then i realized how amazingly our little brain can remember and cannot remember so many things.

Thanks to that scar, i experienced sudden surge of memory influx as the bottom half of my body doing the totally opposite thing. It's not exactly that nice scene to imagine on huh...i wish my sweet memory come to me in much sweeter manner too, but hey, its totally out of my control.

Talking about toilet, i just got to know a week ago that 'toilette' has absolutely nothing to do with toilet. Few months back i was pretty close to walking into BodyShop and buy a toilette as toilet air freshener.

Anyway, back to the memory story, i actually remembered the whole scenario that resulted a scar by just merely glaring at the mark although it was like 13 years ago. Same goes to the scar that i had on my knee, which happened 16 years ago. See, i can even remember the year that it happened. All this which suppose to be pain memory seems to be capable of last rather long in our brain. Happy memory....hm...somehow, far more vague. I can remember how i gotten 2nd in Syarahan Competition, but the details has totally fade off...

Perhaps that one of the reason why we always have far more bad memory on partners that left us. As much as many player or casual relationship out there, there are still not many broke up couple that become friend eventually. Maybe, we can blame all this to the psychological behaviour of human being.

know it all....

Information that you can find over internet is so enormous that it really amazed me... Yesterday i had such satisfaction from finally understanding the twisted history between Kuomintang and Communist Party, all thanks to the very wonderful Wikipedia.

This morning when i woke up i felt pain on my neck and my neck motion been badly restricted. After suffered for the whole day, i seek my mum help and with little surprise, my mum asked me to put the pillow under the sun, which is some funny method that derived from some ancient Chinese Mythology of bed goddess that i am not sure of (wonder if wikipedia have information on this).

Obviously i did not follow my mum's advice, so what i do is i google 'twisted neck' both in english and mandarin as i would like to see if there's actually people would advice me to put my pillow under the sun. Interestingly, the first result i received was from a blog in which the host mentioned that after long search over internet, she found the most common advices she found was to rotate the toe in clock-wise circular motion. She found it to be effective after repeating it for 5 times, and hence i follow.

To my surprise, i actually felt much better!! i didnt exactly cured on the spot, but i really felt much better, and after an hour in which i rotate my toe on and off, i am fully recovered. I'm pretty impressed with this little help i found from internet, wonderful if this method has anything to do with acupunctual point that we always hear from those movies.

thank you google, and thank you Yahoo! :)

Different

Have you ever woke up in the morning and realize, hm...something is different today. You cant tell what it is, but you know it's different. You could be finding everything so wonderful today, or everything is a disastrous.

I'm been undergoing some down point for the past two months due to my hesitation on almost everthing. I've been trying to overcome it but it just seems that my endocrine is producing some hormone preventing me from thinking straight. Something you really need to use the hard way to craw back up the hill. No short cut, no equipment, just your feet and yourself, step by step, walk up to the hill top once again.

In my process of clearing up my paperwork (thanks to the deadline that was imposed), i'm beginning to feel the momentum. I have such strong urge to make a cup of tea/coffee, and since Form 5 I've learn that this is my mind, using my action to tell myself that, its time to get serious.

Welcome back. roar~~~~

budget

Many years back, i couldnt understand how could my father and his aging friends so crazy about politics. They literally live on political news and they called the politicians by name like they were their close friends.

Just like many of you, after living for a quarter of century, you begin to understand something, misunderstand something, and cannot understand something. Luckily, or unluckily, i begin to understand about politics.

Budget 2008/09 is something that really close to my heart. Why you may ask. It is because for the first time i felt directly related to government's policy. And i was really pissed when i realised the budget totally unrelated to me. Who said politics has nothing to do with you? its hurts my pocket in present tense. AND now i know why my father can remember many men's name. There is no way for you to forget the person who owe you money or take money away from you.

on another notes, i felt grateful and grateful (again) that i lived in the sin city that camophlage under the name of prosperity. Perhaps you need to be really stupid to not to know how people from this town earn their fortune from. Having said that, many people can only guess the existance of this 'hidden class' without sound proof. Or else, i wouldnt have call them the 'hidden class'. Not middle class, could be higher class, but you cant tell.

The hidden class has so much authority that one could not imagine. So often we see a park/bridge was build and as much as we could not understand the rationale behind it, we accept it and never question further. Some critics might use their pen and wrote their disapproval in various place. They might have guessed it, but they can never pointed out the man that is laughing in the evil sound at the background.

Perhaps i have benefited from them before, perhaps i have lost my hard earn money to them before, i have no way to trace it. The only thing i know is, their existance allows me to understand many things that i dont understand, and see many ugly faces that i cant see on TV.