traveling around the world might be THE dream for most human being, but i doubt other species would be happy with such an idea....
Africa abalone, California geoduck, Autralia lobster, Sabah Sun Hong Fish, Oyster and Snow crab from the deep blue sea; traveled across the globe for the sole purpose of filling up my tummy. Well done guys, you have found a great place to call it home :)
before the dinner, watched "up in the air", which is about a man who pretty much traveled the whole America on a daily basis. The movie challenge the idea of 'home' and it does gave me an impact on the meaning of spending our time in between places. What if, i travel as much as he does? what if, flying is the only way to comfort my soul? what if?
compared to my cousin, i wouldnt dare said that i travel frequent, but it is good enough to connect both of us to the movie. sitting alone in the airport, partially enjoying the artificial friendly environment, allowing the monitor signboard to dictate our duration in the waiting lounge.
This is life...
This is life?
this is life!
this, is life.
As the seafood traveling to my tummy, was i, at same time, traveling into someone's fishing net?
not a bad way to end my CNY indeed.
a looooooooooong grumble
last week i was stucked in Indonesia Embassy for almost 7 hours doing nothing. It was a favor asked by my uncle, and being deemed as the family member that pretty much contributes nothing to the rest, i was being volunteered to do the donkey job.
so i was dead bored, and start writing words on my phone until it ran out of battery....dont think it makes much sense even to myself, but i do want to keep it online for future reference. after all, it is a form self reflection....
warning- really really long post......
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stucked in the indonesia embassy. Feeling extremely bored. Couldn't find any newspaper, and there's no Digi man in the waiting area, so i cant talk to people over the phone. But oh well, not many ppl can talk to me at 10am, can they?I guess this is one of the few occasion that i actually feel grateful about having this window mobile...no one to talk to? Fear not! Talk to yourself!
Hasnt been really talking to myself for a while now. Occasionally i did question myself on several issues, but i guess that is more of a talking than communicating.So what should i talk to myself? Had enough career stuff, let's talk something light....hm...how's family? Well, dad is still the same,forgetten half, n remember the rest. Not sure when he picked up the habit of mopping the floor, washing the car, and flipping over the hanging cloths whenever he is home, but he is doing it on a daily basis. Its not that mum or maid not doing it, but he just has to do it again. Scolded him in many occasions, but he still doing it. Now i am accepting it as a norm, but deep down kinda worry that these are parts of the syndrome for alzheimer's disease.Spent some money on checking it, but nothing seems to be wrong. But like my friend said, since there is virtually nothing you can do even u r sure about the disease, what is actually the purpose of knowing it? I ponder on this question for several nights.
How about mum? Mum is all right, definitely enjoying her life much more compared to year before. Its been lousy for past few years,but things are going the good way. She is having this group of dancing friend that she can hang out in mamak until wee hour. This is very encouraging for a later past 50 years old. At least she is having a good social life. But having said that, i know she has her own issue as well. She need to deal with dad that is always forgetful, n hotter temper compared to few years back. And seeing my dad doing domestic works always getting into her nerves. And she is definitely getting more white hairs. She never mentioned it, but lately i do realized mum n dad is actually always manage the money in a way that is just enough to cover. She never ask money from us, or letting us know how it is actually, but they just capable of going through all kind of ups and down. If not because they brought it over casually, i wouldnt know that the reason that she always cooked stingray during form 1 was because that is the only type of meat she could afford. And i always thought it was because dad like it.
I am so grateful that i was never a big spender, i dont even own a single magazine/toy/comics after i was 10. The funny thing is, parents never stop me from buying all this, as much as it might actually became a burden to them. So with such blessing in disguise, i was surprisingly brought up without any financial issues in my head (although its like THE problem all the time to my parent)Nowadays the biggest headache for my mum is to how to estimate dinner as my sister and i tend to have dinner with friend in ad hoc basis. Thanks to all the chinese drama and a little bit of own experience, i understand such frustration better, and not seeing it as a small issue compare to work issue anymore...after all, for mum, domestic issue is equivalent to our work's issue, and who has the right to say it is less important compare to works?so nowadays i always mentioned in advance, n hopefully she will feel better in such way.Then by far i guess i am her biggest problem at the moment. She always worried that i have not enough money, (which sometimes is true),or not saving enough for future.
Well, me being single is beginning to worry her as well. Sigh...all i can said is, this 2 issue is very much related. Once things going the right way, i will try to engage in relationship and keep her from worrying things. After all, it is kinda humiliating to be worried over this issue, like i am incapable of attracting the fairer sex.My 3 sisters? Each of them have their own issues,but they are having their own kind of happiness as well. I would dare said they will not trade anything for current life at all. Well, most of the issues are money related, and if money is the only issues, it will not be an issue eventually. I have faith in them, n having a small faith in myself that i will make it and ease any money related issue.Me? I would said that i am equiping myself with lots of stuff. Like a soldier that has been training in a virtual war. Still waiting for the commander to call upon into real war, and not sure if what i learn is useful in real war.I have been telling myself i am still young, so just take things slowly and learning should be the priority. But at the same time, i am worried that my parent cant wait. What if alzheimer kick in? This is always the torn inside me that poking me occasionally. I dont mind failing and start from zero, but can my parent handle it?Well, dont think i will start from zero. Doubt tat i will compromise till that degree.
i am sincerely believing that if i wan a sales job, i can grant it in a month time, but i will probably be a very unhappy man. There is just so many things i wan to give it a shot, so much so that i am reluctant to repeat whatever i have done. Silly may it sound, but i seek excitement in life above many things. And yet it is only applicable to certain issue only. Relationship wise, i am rather loyal, and wants nothing more than a simple love. A simple happiness, like a walk in the park, cooking dinner for each other,or a kiss on forehead everyday when i wake up is good enough for me. I hates complication, so i tend to keep things simple, but it never do. Just realized i have an issue of deciding. But once i made the decision, i take the action wayyy to fast that i ignore the changes occur that maybe i should not be making a decision at all. So if someone ask why i do that, the honest answer would have been i am not too sure, i was just following what i had decided not so long ago, but cant remember how i come out with that decision.
Phew....this is such a long wait, i am beginning to run out of things to write. 26 more to go, i hope....the number is just jumping around in a manner that perhaps only the staff understand.Okey, writer's block....lets talk about the embassy. Seriously, this is definitely a busy embassy. Not often you would see 25 counters that are working all at once. Or maybe, i am just too use to seeing empty counter in government agency that i find it impressive about something that it should have been. Just like any agency, they have the issue of smiling.
Seriously, it's not that costly to smile right....the security of the embassy is really loose i think, but i guess if you dont do so, you will have thousand of people queuing on the main tun razak road, which is definitely disastrous. Or perhaps, its only loose in the public section. Actual side may be rather strict. But then again, its indonesia embassy, doubt anyone would throw something into them. One thing really good about the embassy is that they actually provide free photo shooting and free photocopy, and they are charging their passport for rm18 only. We malaysian pay freaking rm300 and yet we dont even have all these services! Seriously, our passport is way to overprice. And 2 days ago they actually proudly saying that they have upgraded the security and not charging extra on public because they are understanding of current economy.
Ofcoz you wouldnt, because it has been overprice all this while. Increasing the fees to rm300 was only a temporary measurement during asia economic crisis as a method of discouraging people from going oversea. And now it became a form of steady income for the government. All this can be done without furore is because it is passed in the parliment like any other funny regulations. What to do, it will never have any objection, or else diciplinary action can be taken. Thank god things are changing,well, slowly, but definitely changing. I know a lot of people are frustrated with current condition and rather not have any change. But people, think long term! It is extremely important for us to continue to bite on the bitter path, and keep pushing forward. It may take a while to remove the huge rock, but just keep pushing, the day of pushing over the rock is near!
I am tired....sleepy....tired.....sleepy
so i was dead bored, and start writing words on my phone until it ran out of battery....dont think it makes much sense even to myself, but i do want to keep it online for future reference. after all, it is a form self reflection....
warning- really really long post......
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stucked in the indonesia embassy. Feeling extremely bored. Couldn't find any newspaper, and there's no Digi man in the waiting area, so i cant talk to people over the phone. But oh well, not many ppl can talk to me at 10am, can they?I guess this is one of the few occasion that i actually feel grateful about having this window mobile...no one to talk to? Fear not! Talk to yourself!
Hasnt been really talking to myself for a while now. Occasionally i did question myself on several issues, but i guess that is more of a talking than communicating.So what should i talk to myself? Had enough career stuff, let's talk something light....hm...how's family? Well, dad is still the same,forgetten half, n remember the rest. Not sure when he picked up the habit of mopping the floor, washing the car, and flipping over the hanging cloths whenever he is home, but he is doing it on a daily basis. Its not that mum or maid not doing it, but he just has to do it again. Scolded him in many occasions, but he still doing it. Now i am accepting it as a norm, but deep down kinda worry that these are parts of the syndrome for alzheimer's disease.Spent some money on checking it, but nothing seems to be wrong. But like my friend said, since there is virtually nothing you can do even u r sure about the disease, what is actually the purpose of knowing it? I ponder on this question for several nights.
How about mum? Mum is all right, definitely enjoying her life much more compared to year before. Its been lousy for past few years,but things are going the good way. She is having this group of dancing friend that she can hang out in mamak until wee hour. This is very encouraging for a later past 50 years old. At least she is having a good social life. But having said that, i know she has her own issue as well. She need to deal with dad that is always forgetful, n hotter temper compared to few years back. And seeing my dad doing domestic works always getting into her nerves. And she is definitely getting more white hairs. She never mentioned it, but lately i do realized mum n dad is actually always manage the money in a way that is just enough to cover. She never ask money from us, or letting us know how it is actually, but they just capable of going through all kind of ups and down. If not because they brought it over casually, i wouldnt know that the reason that she always cooked stingray during form 1 was because that is the only type of meat she could afford. And i always thought it was because dad like it.
I am so grateful that i was never a big spender, i dont even own a single magazine/toy/comics after i was 10. The funny thing is, parents never stop me from buying all this, as much as it might actually became a burden to them. So with such blessing in disguise, i was surprisingly brought up without any financial issues in my head (although its like THE problem all the time to my parent)Nowadays the biggest headache for my mum is to how to estimate dinner as my sister and i tend to have dinner with friend in ad hoc basis. Thanks to all the chinese drama and a little bit of own experience, i understand such frustration better, and not seeing it as a small issue compare to work issue anymore...after all, for mum, domestic issue is equivalent to our work's issue, and who has the right to say it is less important compare to works?so nowadays i always mentioned in advance, n hopefully she will feel better in such way.Then by far i guess i am her biggest problem at the moment. She always worried that i have not enough money, (which sometimes is true),or not saving enough for future.
Well, me being single is beginning to worry her as well. Sigh...all i can said is, this 2 issue is very much related. Once things going the right way, i will try to engage in relationship and keep her from worrying things. After all, it is kinda humiliating to be worried over this issue, like i am incapable of attracting the fairer sex.My 3 sisters? Each of them have their own issues,but they are having their own kind of happiness as well. I would dare said they will not trade anything for current life at all. Well, most of the issues are money related, and if money is the only issues, it will not be an issue eventually. I have faith in them, n having a small faith in myself that i will make it and ease any money related issue.Me? I would said that i am equiping myself with lots of stuff. Like a soldier that has been training in a virtual war. Still waiting for the commander to call upon into real war, and not sure if what i learn is useful in real war.I have been telling myself i am still young, so just take things slowly and learning should be the priority. But at the same time, i am worried that my parent cant wait. What if alzheimer kick in? This is always the torn inside me that poking me occasionally. I dont mind failing and start from zero, but can my parent handle it?Well, dont think i will start from zero. Doubt tat i will compromise till that degree.
i am sincerely believing that if i wan a sales job, i can grant it in a month time, but i will probably be a very unhappy man. There is just so many things i wan to give it a shot, so much so that i am reluctant to repeat whatever i have done. Silly may it sound, but i seek excitement in life above many things. And yet it is only applicable to certain issue only. Relationship wise, i am rather loyal, and wants nothing more than a simple love. A simple happiness, like a walk in the park, cooking dinner for each other,or a kiss on forehead everyday when i wake up is good enough for me. I hates complication, so i tend to keep things simple, but it never do. Just realized i have an issue of deciding. But once i made the decision, i take the action wayyy to fast that i ignore the changes occur that maybe i should not be making a decision at all. So if someone ask why i do that, the honest answer would have been i am not too sure, i was just following what i had decided not so long ago, but cant remember how i come out with that decision.
Phew....this is such a long wait, i am beginning to run out of things to write. 26 more to go, i hope....the number is just jumping around in a manner that perhaps only the staff understand.Okey, writer's block....lets talk about the embassy. Seriously, this is definitely a busy embassy. Not often you would see 25 counters that are working all at once. Or maybe, i am just too use to seeing empty counter in government agency that i find it impressive about something that it should have been. Just like any agency, they have the issue of smiling.
Seriously, it's not that costly to smile right....the security of the embassy is really loose i think, but i guess if you dont do so, you will have thousand of people queuing on the main tun razak road, which is definitely disastrous. Or perhaps, its only loose in the public section. Actual side may be rather strict. But then again, its indonesia embassy, doubt anyone would throw something into them. One thing really good about the embassy is that they actually provide free photo shooting and free photocopy, and they are charging their passport for rm18 only. We malaysian pay freaking rm300 and yet we dont even have all these services! Seriously, our passport is way to overprice. And 2 days ago they actually proudly saying that they have upgraded the security and not charging extra on public because they are understanding of current economy.
Ofcoz you wouldnt, because it has been overprice all this while. Increasing the fees to rm300 was only a temporary measurement during asia economic crisis as a method of discouraging people from going oversea. And now it became a form of steady income for the government. All this can be done without furore is because it is passed in the parliment like any other funny regulations. What to do, it will never have any objection, or else diciplinary action can be taken. Thank god things are changing,well, slowly, but definitely changing. I know a lot of people are frustrated with current condition and rather not have any change. But people, think long term! It is extremely important for us to continue to bite on the bitter path, and keep pushing forward. It may take a while to remove the huge rock, but just keep pushing, the day of pushing over the rock is near!
I am tired....sleepy....tired.....sleepy
Down
DJ: Ms Sabrina, who do you want to dedicate the next song to?
Sabrina: i wanna dedicate the next song to all my course mate, wishing them all the best for the exam in the later afternoon.
DJ: okey, here's the song for Sabrina and her course mate, Jay Sean - "down"
*music roll in*
"Baby are you DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN~~"
i was literally cracking after hearing this...Come on DJ, are you sure you about your songs selection?
Sabrina: i wanna dedicate the next song to all my course mate, wishing them all the best for the exam in the later afternoon.
DJ: okey, here's the song for Sabrina and her course mate, Jay Sean - "down"
*music roll in*
"Baby are you DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN~~"
i was literally cracking after hearing this...Come on DJ, are you sure you about your songs selection?
its not that simple
没那麼简单 就能找到 聊得来的伴
its not that simple, to find a partner that can talk to
尤其是在 看过了那麼多的背叛
especially,after seeing all these betrayals
总是不安 只好强悍
always insecure, has to toughen up
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
who killed all my romance
没那麼简单 就能去爱 别的全不看
its not that simple, to love, without seeing anything else
变得实际 也许好也许坏各一半
being realistic, perhaps is half good, half bad.
不爱孤单 一久也习惯
dont like to be alone, but its been long enough to get use to
不用担心谁 也不用被谁管
not worrying anyone, and not being controlled.
感觉快乐就忙东忙西
busy myself when i am feeling happy
感觉累了就放空自己
do nothing when i am tired
别人说的话 随便听一听 自己作决定
whatever others said, just listen, and decide myself
不想拥有太多情绪
do not wish to own too much emotion
一杯红酒配電影
a glass of wine plus a movie
在周末晚上 关上了
over the weekend night, shut off
手机 舒服窝在沙发裡
handphone, lying on the sofa comfortably
相爱没有那麼容易 每个人有他的脾气
love is not that simple, everyone has their own temper
过了爱作梦的年纪 轰轰烈烈不如平静
past the age of dreaming, a simple relationship is better off than a crazy love
幸福没有那麼容易 才会特别让人著迷
happiness is not that simple, hence its so mesmerizing
什麼都不懂的年纪
at the age of knowing nothing
曾经最掏心 所以最开心 曾经
used to whole-heartedly love someone, hence the happiest. used to.
想念最伤心 但却最动心 的记忆
missing someone hurts the most, and yet its the most touching memory.
yes, perhaps we can
As much as i am willing to believe that our beloved PM truly inspire to change the whole political scene, there's still this massive torn in my hearts (n perhaps many malaysian's heart) that making to doubt the success of GTP or 1Malaysia.
I grew up with lots of friends irregardless of races, as long we can understand each other. And everything seems to be fine until when i was form 4, the adults begin to tell me about sekolah asrama and the blah blah blah, or get some final exam paper from sekolah asrama because their questions would be very close to actual examination. Then i start to realize discrepancies among treatment we received. The scholarship stories then got really loud from my years onwards. The older i get, the more stories i heard that i begin to doubt the country that i once i know of, the one that i was taught during primary school.
after away from the education system for good few years, i know very well, education system, is the core of the current situation. Biro tetangga is a well known issue, and to my surprise, the reformist actually failed to convince the conservatives to eradicated it. Instead, 1malaysia concept is implemented into. And seriously, would the lecturers that have been organizing the program in their way will listen to what it is being suggested?
Then follow by the local university election. It is just disgusting to see how the guard, the school administrator controlling the scene like the final judge. No matter what reason it is, it is just wrong for school administrator to even bud into school election that is suppose to be student's representative. Its just plain ridiculous to know the student representatives need to decide which side they are on for the election. ITS STUDENTS' REPRESENTATIVE FOR GOODNESS SAKE.....as the name it is suggested, should be elected by the students and for the students.
the tipping point of my disappointment towards the reform program is definitely the media control by the current government. To make things worse, some people get arrested by writing nonsense over the internet, but some people can just accuse people as they wish, front page! it is angry enough to know they are protected by the invisible shield, and no, they have to tell us that, hey, i am so safe that i even call myself awang selamat!
it is the triumph of the conservatives so far, and as much as i want to optimistic, i am not seeing any sign of them going down. The youth group that is once well known for extremity, is surprisingly open minded since the special one took the seat, but the supporters are not happy about it judging from the news.
i am not asking so much, let's just start by giving up the special rights in media coverage, and yes, perhaps we can.
I grew up with lots of friends irregardless of races, as long we can understand each other. And everything seems to be fine until when i was form 4, the adults begin to tell me about sekolah asrama and the blah blah blah, or get some final exam paper from sekolah asrama because their questions would be very close to actual examination. Then i start to realize discrepancies among treatment we received. The scholarship stories then got really loud from my years onwards. The older i get, the more stories i heard that i begin to doubt the country that i once i know of, the one that i was taught during primary school.
after away from the education system for good few years, i know very well, education system, is the core of the current situation. Biro tetangga is a well known issue, and to my surprise, the reformist actually failed to convince the conservatives to eradicated it. Instead, 1malaysia concept is implemented into. And seriously, would the lecturers that have been organizing the program in their way will listen to what it is being suggested?
Then follow by the local university election. It is just disgusting to see how the guard, the school administrator controlling the scene like the final judge. No matter what reason it is, it is just wrong for school administrator to even bud into school election that is suppose to be student's representative. Its just plain ridiculous to know the student representatives need to decide which side they are on for the election. ITS STUDENTS' REPRESENTATIVE FOR GOODNESS SAKE.....as the name it is suggested, should be elected by the students and for the students.
the tipping point of my disappointment towards the reform program is definitely the media control by the current government. To make things worse, some people get arrested by writing nonsense over the internet, but some people can just accuse people as they wish, front page! it is angry enough to know they are protected by the invisible shield, and no, they have to tell us that, hey, i am so safe that i even call myself awang selamat!
it is the triumph of the conservatives so far, and as much as i want to optimistic, i am not seeing any sign of them going down. The youth group that is once well known for extremity, is surprisingly open minded since the special one took the seat, but the supporters are not happy about it judging from the news.
i am not asking so much, let's just start by giving up the special rights in media coverage, and yes, perhaps we can.
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