i am quite an honest person, well...no one ever tell me that, but that's how i would rate myself as. I dont cheat on girl, i dont do backstabbing (always do it in his/her face,ha~)
well, i felt kinda gutted for being honest today. Did an online assessment test, something like a talent assessment for this trainee program. Since its a personality test, and i have always been a team player, so i dont see any wrong of answering the question base on how i feel irregardless it will reflect good or bad side of me. I was quite confident about this because i dont think ANYONE will actually kick out candidate base on personality, and even if they do so, why would they do that to someone that is a team player according to test?
and guess what, i DIDNT PASS THE TEST~ just because i am being honest, just because i tend to choose answer that showing i am more of the top percentile group instead of the top leaders, just because i am more of a good follower in the group instead of the leader, they failed me!!
So i should cheat my way to get through the test? or maybe lying is a sign that you are competitive (thus can be a leader), so you deserve to be in the next round?
it is either that i am really not suitable for this program, or this personality test is really a stupid criteria to have.
still thinking how should i answer this type of test if it happen again ---to be or not to be, that is the question......
Me 3.0
most people that i know of takes many years of mistake become they come to realize what we want in life. its funny how we capable to learn more through the painful way. It the logic stay right, the younger generation are way more rebellious than we were are due to the fact that they have undergo way too little painful experience. In fact, most parent will sue the teacher when the children got canned nowadays, compared to the good old days. I will never let my father know that i got canned, because i would definitely got beaten for the second time as he believe i must have done something wrong to deserve it. But, i do think the younger generation are more creative as they live in a more open environment, or perhaps its just a form of Darwin's survivor theory.
had a rather intellectual conversation with this good friend of mine that is like milesss away. Well, its actually through facebook message, so dont think it should be call a conversation. But there are words that really lighten my heart a lot. she understand me in many ways naturally, and we are equally care free, so i guess that's what make us good friend.
i was telling her that i am lacking some reason or motivation, hence i am considering moving on. She replied saying that i dont need any motivation, because an unmotivated person is someone that will stay there as it is and feeling numb about everything. In a way she actually pointed out many doubts of mine, i dunno why, it just give me some assurance to make a decision.
yes indeed i am ready to gear up for yet another phase. I did doubt myself that how can i not even try hard enough in 2.0 before i move up to another version? but now i kinda understand, me 2.0 is like window vista, its really crap, so its ok to be laugh at, its ok to be short, just toughen up and shift the gear.
today heard a news about these awards that would have been mine go to my colleague. I am really happy for her as she did put so much effort into it, but still feeling a bit painful to know how much have i let go in the process of searching myself. I will take it all back, or maybe by then, it doesnt matter anymore....
had a rather intellectual conversation with this good friend of mine that is like milesss away. Well, its actually through facebook message, so dont think it should be call a conversation. But there are words that really lighten my heart a lot. she understand me in many ways naturally, and we are equally care free, so i guess that's what make us good friend.
i was telling her that i am lacking some reason or motivation, hence i am considering moving on. She replied saying that i dont need any motivation, because an unmotivated person is someone that will stay there as it is and feeling numb about everything. In a way she actually pointed out many doubts of mine, i dunno why, it just give me some assurance to make a decision.
yes indeed i am ready to gear up for yet another phase. I did doubt myself that how can i not even try hard enough in 2.0 before i move up to another version? but now i kinda understand, me 2.0 is like window vista, its really crap, so its ok to be laugh at, its ok to be short, just toughen up and shift the gear.
today heard a news about these awards that would have been mine go to my colleague. I am really happy for her as she did put so much effort into it, but still feeling a bit painful to know how much have i let go in the process of searching myself. I will take it all back, or maybe by then, it doesnt matter anymore....
year 2010
ok, this is kinda late, but it all thanks to 2 weeks of crazy lifestyle i had with my friend from NZ. the only 3 things that i have done for the past 3 weeks were probably drink, dance, drive, and doze off. oh wait, that's 4 things.
so after almost month long of celebration, its time to face the year ahead. I cant help but to fear for the coming 300 more days ahead. For the past 4 months, all i did was to do the groundwork for the coming year 2010.
The year has arrived, and many things are actually ready to run. I cant help myself but keep asking myself, what if i fail....i know, for the first time, this is the year that define myself...like my country, year 2010, is the year of 'reckoning'. this year, is the year that i proved to myself that i am right to make all this decision. So many people has gave me the strength, and the person that doubt the most is actually myself. I need to discover my reason to believe in it, the reason to move on, the reason to have no regret.
so year 2010, again, will be more or less similar to year 2009 as i am far from achieving it.
1. read at least 30min of books before going to bed - i think its time to rediscover my love for books. starting to feel myself mentally empty with low creativity, definitely has much to do with the avoidance of reading for past whole year.
2. exercise the 10min workout set taught by Siva every morning to start the day with some sweat.
3. 1 day of random new skill (at the moment is hip hop), 1 day of badminton or squash, 3 days of gym per week - i realized i do care about my appearance much more than i perceived. Being active in sports has the benefit of strong will power, and better body shape that definitely boost up my self-esteem that is currently hovering at all time low
4. raise my yearly income to above RM60,000 once again, which translate to RM5000 a month - seriously, i am not so much of a money minded person. But i realized,as a young adult, you need to love money to a certain degree or else you will be lacking the desire to strive for your career. So i need to love more on seeing big figure in my bank account and dream of giving the best to my family.
5. go for a spontaneous trip with friend - being spontaneous has always been part of my life, so i definitely want to continue keeping that in mind.
6.schedule work and play time in the right ratio - being a self-employed making myself spending lots of time doing nothing, and this is definitely and must do thing for this year!
7. complete my CFP, and keep the option of challenging CIFP in mind - unless i failed, or else this shouldnt be an issued. 5 years goals - established certain reputation that is sensible enough to take up CFA
8. make profit from the trading progam - i have spent so much in it, and i know this will either be my biggest let down, or biggest surprise for the year, so i put you in lucky no. 8.
9. purchase a ~RM120,000 car in december - was thinking of owning a house, but reckon the probability is rather low, so might as well not writing it down.
10. donate money for charity - i will keep this in my mind for sure this year (friends that are claiming themselve to be charitable are excluded since its is quite an obvious lie)
11. spend time writing down journal /story at least 4 times a week - travel log has to be updated to current year or else it is becoming pointless soon. and talking to myself do help me in many ways. As such, i wan to discipline to continue doing so.
12. forget the past, and move on in terms of relationship, take things slowly - i have been living in the shadow for long enough, and for the first time, i felt more prepared than ever to move on. Not going to be desperate or the i dont care attitude.but if the right one appear, will not hesitate as it use to be, anymore.
13. the most important of all, find the reasons to achieve all this. with nothing to inspire on, all this will just plain talk.
wish me luck
so after almost month long of celebration, its time to face the year ahead. I cant help but to fear for the coming 300 more days ahead. For the past 4 months, all i did was to do the groundwork for the coming year 2010.
The year has arrived, and many things are actually ready to run. I cant help myself but keep asking myself, what if i fail....i know, for the first time, this is the year that define myself...like my country, year 2010, is the year of 'reckoning'. this year, is the year that i proved to myself that i am right to make all this decision. So many people has gave me the strength, and the person that doubt the most is actually myself. I need to discover my reason to believe in it, the reason to move on, the reason to have no regret.
so year 2010, again, will be more or less similar to year 2009 as i am far from achieving it.
1. read at least 30min of books before going to bed - i think its time to rediscover my love for books. starting to feel myself mentally empty with low creativity, definitely has much to do with the avoidance of reading for past whole year.
2. exercise the 10min workout set taught by Siva every morning to start the day with some sweat.
3. 1 day of random new skill (at the moment is hip hop), 1 day of badminton or squash, 3 days of gym per week - i realized i do care about my appearance much more than i perceived. Being active in sports has the benefit of strong will power, and better body shape that definitely boost up my self-esteem that is currently hovering at all time low
4. raise my yearly income to above RM60,000 once again, which translate to RM5000 a month - seriously, i am not so much of a money minded person. But i realized,as a young adult, you need to love money to a certain degree or else you will be lacking the desire to strive for your career. So i need to love more on seeing big figure in my bank account and dream of giving the best to my family.
5. go for a spontaneous trip with friend - being spontaneous has always been part of my life, so i definitely want to continue keeping that in mind.
6.schedule work and play time in the right ratio - being a self-employed making myself spending lots of time doing nothing, and this is definitely and must do thing for this year!
7. complete my CFP, and keep the option of challenging CIFP in mind - unless i failed, or else this shouldnt be an issued. 5 years goals - established certain reputation that is sensible enough to take up CFA
8. make profit from the trading progam - i have spent so much in it, and i know this will either be my biggest let down, or biggest surprise for the year, so i put you in lucky no. 8.
9. purchase a ~RM120,000 car in december - was thinking of owning a house, but reckon the probability is rather low, so might as well not writing it down.
10. donate money for charity - i will keep this in my mind for sure this year (friends that are claiming themselve to be charitable are excluded since its is quite an obvious lie)
11. spend time writing down journal /story at least 4 times a week - travel log has to be updated to current year or else it is becoming pointless soon. and talking to myself do help me in many ways. As such, i wan to discipline to continue doing so.
12. forget the past, and move on in terms of relationship, take things slowly - i have been living in the shadow for long enough, and for the first time, i felt more prepared than ever to move on. Not going to be desperate or the i dont care attitude.but if the right one appear, will not hesitate as it use to be, anymore.
13. the most important of all, find the reasons to achieve all this. with nothing to inspire on, all this will just plain talk.
wish me luck
review of 09 resolution...
so here's the big boasted promised that i made in early 2008, n how i failed most of it,ha...
1. Maintain my total gross income, with 20% goes to 'cannot be touched fund' and 15% goes to investment.
-fail, gross income drop, n no saving in whatsoever, but that's due to change of game plan along t way,so no complain...
2. complete my travel blog (god, please give me strength on this~)
2. complete my travel blog (god, please give me strength on this~)
-well, i did complete year 2006, so maybe a B- for this,haha
3. At least complete the 2 stories that have be swimming in my dream for the past year (maybe this one i need strength from angels~)- fail big times....in fact thinking of not writing the story, got some other story in mind instead (hey, this sound bad)
4. increase my frequency of exercise/gym to 4 days/week-only to probably 2 times a week, so FAIL~
5. complete a professional papers and an investment program-didnt complete, but definitely doing it at the fastest track i can find, so one big TICK~
6. continue trying new games. doing acrobatic stunk with airplane would be a good start :)- quite hard to fail this i guess, its fun stuff anyway, so ya, i did rock climbing :)
7. travel to any random place without prior planning (although high chances this will tarnish my resolution no.1)- i ended up did 2, 1 in langkawi alone for a very good relaxing beach side holiday, another 1 is just ended bali trip that can only explained by t word crazy, so BIG TICK
8. learn how to use my camera-well, its almost broken now, so this resolution is pointless now
9. have a solid plan on financing towards a very own SOHO unit.- pathway is definitely clearer now, but no solid plan is formed, fail....
10. if cant help physically, at least donate money to charity.- feel so shameful for not achieving this...
11. Concentrate my focus on my decided career path.- in certain way, yes it is...
12. erm.....getting a gf...
-why did i put it there to embarrassed myself for again? hm...just to make myself feel better, met lots of interesting ladies throughout the year, but so far, i am content to have all of them as friend (a very nice way to say that i am still single,haha...)
so, i guess i total i score about 4 out of 11 ~35% achieved....this is definitely lower than the previous year.....so you would say its not such a good year to me, n definitely there is lots of confusion invovle throughout the year, but yeah...its time to move on, n talk about 2010 resolution~~~
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